Tired, Puppy Runs & Sleep Deprivation

 

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It has been a week of disjointed sleep due to sick children, a sick husband, and a sick puppy! ūüė¶ Yes, even our four-month-old American Collie Lucy was struck by illness after eating a bowl of cat food. ¬†I can’t believe that even though I’ve cared for two other dogs, I was ignorant of¬†the dangers of cat food upon dogs’ digestive systems!

Lucy’s malady was my bad. Yesterday I picked up Avonlea at her friend’s house and I brought along Lucy for the ride. ¬†We were invited into the friend’s house for a moment, and I was oblivious to a large bowl of cat food ¬†in the kitchen by the entrance. ¬†Needless to say, Lucy ate that rich cat food in a heartbeat. ¬†The poor pup woke up around 2:00 a.m. and had explosive diarrhea covering almost¬†a third of the bedroom floor and spattering the side of a wall! ¬†(At least it was a wooden floor and not shag carpet!) ¬†It was truly a grisly sight, and the stench could raise the dead. ¬†My first thought was “How could something so foul emanate from something so incredibly cute, sweet and fluffy?”

To my complete frustration, after cleaning up the mess and returning¬†to a very poor quality of sleep, I woke up an hour later. ¬†I got up due to my daughter’s coughing spell, and so I rose out of ¬†bed to¬†dose her with cough medicine. ¬†At 3:30 a.m.¬†I drifted into another one of those semi-asleep states that are not refreshing.

These dilemmas I describe are nothing close to crisis-type situations. I thank God for that, since I’ve been through so¬†many emergencies I should be some kind of honorary E.M.T. ¬†The reality of my life is that my kids and husband had run-of-the-mill colds and Lucy ate the wrong thing. ¬†They didn’t have eyeball-devouring amoebas.

Even so, whenever I lose a lot of sleep I freak out.  I worry that my sleep deprivation could trigger mania, since sleep loss has been the reason for my past manias.  Most memorably, sleep deprivation due to labor resulted in my becoming manic and my being diagnosed with postpartum bipolar one disorder.

Because of my susceptibility to sleep deprivation-induced mania, I was tempted to take extra Seroquel. ¬†I’ve only done that once in the past eleven months I’ve taken it. ¬†As alluring as a bigger dose sounded, I desisted. ¬†The way I see it, I’m already putting my body through enough stress as it is with my heavy-duty meds. ¬†A bigger dose of Seroquel would only serve to create more grogginess the next day. ¬†I made sure to work out on my elliptical for forty-five minutes , as cardio exercise always helps me sleep better. ¬† I even ate less sugar than usual, as we were out of my beloved Haagen Dazs and Ben & Jerry’s.

Yeah, I’m tired. ¬†At least tomorrow’s another day, and I’m hoping to be less tired. ¬†My fingers and toes crossed that I won’t feel so zombie-esque. ¬†While I had high hopes to write a “good” blog post today, an exciting topic didn’t come to mind, but it still feels nice to write instead of cleaning up puppy diarrhea.

It’s gratifying to know that even if I publish something I’m not thrilled with, I’ll still reach you. I have a feeling you’ll give me a “pass” this time around. ¬†Since I’m constantly impressed, entertained and inspired by what pops up in my WordPress Reader, sometimes I feel those posts are a hard act to follow. ¬†It’s okay, I can shove my petty¬†insecurities¬†aside, and in any case, I’m not going to lose sleep over¬†that!

And now, as my special treat of the day, I’m going to go browse through my Reader ¬†as I relax and prepare for a good night’s sleep. ¬†Your blogs¬†never cease to amaze me, and I love reading each post. ¬†Thanks for giving me something to look forward to after a tedious day of squabbling children, a puppy with Vesuvius-like bowels, and a sick, crabby partner.

T.G.I.F. (hope yours is great) and have a wonderful weekend!

I’ll be back next Monday. ¬†In the meantime, take good care and thanks for reading.

Dyane

 

Photo on 2014-07-06 at 16.18 #4

 

 

 

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Adventures in Seroquel Tapering for the Groggy Blogger and more…

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T.G.I.M.? Thank God ¬†it’s Monday? ¬†I think not! ¬†Mondays are usually the toughest day of the week for¬†me, but maybe this one will be different. ¬†At least I don’t have to rush the kids to school, and that’s a big plus for this groggy blogger. ¬†More on my grogginess follows in this post; oh yes, it’s a primary theme, although get ready – other topics will be discussed and an exam given at the end. ūüėČ

I’m thankful to have a more leisurely pace in our household this week. ¬†There was a steady buzz of frenetic activity over the past five days. ¬†Between having my two young girls¬†out of school, hosting¬†family from out-of-town, and adjusting to our¬†super-energetic puppy’s needs, last week¬†was challenging and at times even heartbreaking. ¬†One day was plain-old-Nightmare On Elm Street Part VI,¬†but blogging about that awful day really helped me. ¬†After I received wonderful comments of support in this blog, I was able to move on with my day better than I would have done in the past.

Now, as I type this post, there is a beautiful sort of quiet in the room. ¬†I hear the sounds of cars and motorcycles off in the distance, for we live directly above a scenic mountain highway, but at this point the traffic sounds akin to a rushing stream. ¬†For the next hour it’s just me and Lucy puppy, who is nibbling contentedly on a puppy chew. ¬†My husband took the girls to swim at the community pool, and I’m so, so grateful to have this solitude.

Most of us bloggers need to have quiet time away from other noisy humans – you don’t realize how vital this alone time is until it’s gone! ¬†If I want to write anything except maybe a grocery list, I must have quiet. ¬†I wish with all my heart that I could be like the author Madeleine L’Engle, who was able to write well¬†with all kinds of distractions. ¬†She wrote backstage on Broadway when she worked as a character actress, she scribbled on trains, journaled in hotel lobbies, etc. Unfortunately, I can’t write if my two kids are around unless I have headphones on, and that¬†usually hasn’t worked out for me.

Along the lines of writing and solitude, a few minutes ago I watched an interesting, brief YouTube video of the writer John Irving. ¬†I’ve never read his work, but I’ve heard about this famous writer for many years. ¬†The video is called “How to Tell if You’re A Writer”, and Irving validated certain points for me regarding writing in general. ¬†It was an inspiring minute & twenty seconds, and it’s definitely worth the time to watch if you’re a writer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYvOSrgvCrk

Meanwhile, in exciting medication management news, last night I dropped down from 100mg/night to 50 mg of Seroquel (quetiapine). ¬†Seroquel has been a godsend to me. ¬†When I had a terrible, bizarre type of agitated insomnia last fall, my psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel. ¬†I was completely skeptical that¬†it would help me, but I was desperate to get some sleep. ¬†Not to sound like a drama queen, but from past experience I knew if I didn’t sleep, I’d wind up back in the hospital. ¬†So I started taking the Seroquel and I was profoundly relieved to find that it¬†worked very¬†well. ¬†The only side effect that has bugged me is mild-to-moderate daytime grogginess until noon or so.

I’ve been meaning to drop from 100mg to 50 mg of Seroquel for literally months now. ¬†My psychiatrist was totally on board with my decision. ¬†However, I procrastinated tapering because I felt paranoid that changing my dose would throw off the wonderful, antidepressant effect of the lithium and Parnate (MAOI) I’ve been taking since last fall. ¬†I voiced my concern with my psychiatrist and he told me that it was highly unlikely that my reducing Seroquel would bring on depression. I trust this man literally with my life, so I decided to go for it.

The 50% reduction has worked well so far; I slept well last night, but it has been less than twenty-four hours since I changed my dose! Only time will tell if this adjustment is effective for me in the long run.  My fingers and toes and eyeballs are crossed that it works just fine.

One good omen is that today I only had one cup of coffee instead of my usual three¬†(sometimes even more – yes, I admit it!) hefty-sized mugs. ¬†I’ve been drinking all this coffee because I love the taste, but also the large amount of caffeine has cut my grogginess down a bit. What amazes me is that I didn’t even realize that I drank 2/3 less of my usual amount of coffee until just now, 2:30 p.m., so that’s an encouraging sign!

The past week has been different for me in other ways in terms of my daily routine. ¬†I’ve cut down my Facebook notifications & “following” option (which I still don’t totally understand, I’m embarrassed to tell you!) Lately I’ve only wished to keep track of the doings and likings etc. of people I’m actively involved with. ¬†I’ve reduced my Twitter surfing too. ¬†¬†(Did you know that you can “mute” people on Twitter? ¬†If you don’t, write me a comment and I’ll explain it! ūüėČ ¬†Or someone else can explain it…and I bet they’ll do a better job of it.)

Changing my social media habits frees up more time for me to be with my family, read other blogs, read books, write, and play with Lucy Puppy. And, ahem, to watch my trashy television shows. ¬†I don’t want to stop being on social media – no way! I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again – ¬†I’ve been using Facebook & Twitter too much. ¬†It’s going to take me all summer to figure out a happier medium between online fun, mundane real-life responsibilities, and real-life fun! ¬†At least I have hope I can work out a better balance of virtual and real-life activity.

Finally, I can’t thank you enough for reading this blog. ¬†It’s a joy to know that I have loyal readers who I consider to be kindred spirits. The other day I hopped on another blogger’s post and I noticed there were 162 comments made within a day. ¬†At first my heart sank, and I seethed in emerald green jealousy. ¬†But then I realized that if I was that mega-blogger, there would be no way I could ever reply to all those comments. ¬†Moreover, I probably wouldn’t read them all unless I was on speed or something, and the lovely give & take between blogger and followers would be non-existent. ¬†At least for me.

At any rate my point is I’m glad for your comments, and I read every one. ¬†Sometimes I take more time than I’d like to reply to you, but I promise I will. ¬†I love having you, my followers, and I wish each of you a fulfilling blogging experience and a great day – ¬†you deserve it!

All my best to you!

Dyane