More Rejection, Acceptance, Controversy & Haters In 24 Hours!

Flat Earth

 

 

Dear Friends,

I loved the amazingly helpful feedback I got in the Shot Down By HuffPost!–What Can Help A Mom with Bipolar During Setbacks post I published on Thursday.

Thanks to all of you for taking time to contribute such thoughtful replies!

Yesterday’s events turned out to be ironic in light of Thursday’s Huffington post rejection – it was so bizarre, in fact, that I couldn’t resist waiting until next Thursday to publish this post!

Yesterday, April Fool’s Day, I

Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head

After a cup of coffee, I sat down to check my email. I noticed a reply from an editor at The Mighty and my heart started to thump a bit faster. My cold palms became sweaty.

A couple weeks ago I submitted a post to The Mighty. It was about my postiive experience with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). I knew that due to ECT’s major controversy there was a strong chance it would be rejected, but after doing The Mighty site search I found two posts that only briefly touched upon ECT. There was nothing like my detailed account.

It was worth a try.

Taking a deep breath, I opened up The Mighty email and read,

Dear Dyane,

Thanks for sharing your story! I’m going to pass on publishing this, but I hope you’ll submit again! Let me know if you have any questions.

Best,

Stinky Editor

That inevitable sting of rejection hit my solar plexus. At least it didn’t hurt as much as the other rejections, but it still, in a word, sucked. But this time I wanted to do something different besides simply sulk. The editor offered to answer my questions, so I was going to go for it!. I wrote, 

“Dear Editor
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly about my submission. I wish everyone else was like that! I appreciate your offering me the chance to ask questions, so I’ll take you up on it. I’d love to get just a little feedback. By sharing with me about what didn’t work, you’ll be helping me in terms of my future submissions and you’ll be doing a good deed! 🙂
Also, if I edited the piece based on your suggestions, would you be open to a resubmission?
I know you’re busy  and I’d be very grateful for anything you can share.
thanks so much,
The Loser Dyane

Then I did my best to shake off the ‘ol rejection heebie jeebies and get on with my day. I helped my kids get ready, took them to school, and survived driving among the excessively aggressive parent drivers brandishing coffee mugs as they raced around the school’s parking lot.

I returned home intending to work on my book; I wanted to forget all about The Mighty.

Later on I checked my email and noticed a message from The Huffington Post.

First words that came to my mind?

Ah, shit. Another rejection….great.

I opened it up. It wasn’t a rejection.

They published my ECT post! I submitted the ECT post to Huffington the same day I sent it to The Mighty, as both outlets allow writers to submit previously published posts and sometimes they share content.

I screamed with triumphant glee. Poor Lucy, wondering what the hell was going on, began barking loud enough to wake the dead.

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I knew that this ECT article would receive very different feedback than my postpartum bipolar article, and I was right. But I went into this with my eyes open. I’ve been on both sides of the psych fence: I’ve been anti-psychiatry before I became pro-psychiatry. 

So I was fully prepared for the anti-psychiatry brigade, the Dr. Peter Breggin groupies, and a bevy of anti-ECT readers to descend and write all kinds of negative comments. 

It didn’t matter to me what their comments said. 

The bottom line was that I needed to share my truth, my experience.

In grade school I memorized the the Bill of Rights, in which our First Amendment states:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

I treasure my freedom of speech more than ever and I worked hard to get this chance to use it. 

So far I’ve only responded to certain comments. There are some seriously out-there comments that are a lost cause when it comes to my trying to explain anything.

I would love it if you could visit this article and see what I’m talking about.

One anti-ECT reader mentions that “bipolar was invented in 1995” and she asked me for a list of all my Dad’s doctors’ names.  She also wrote other colorful comments – clearly this was the day’s excitement for her.  

I shouldn’t be too glib – these are all human beings after all. I’m just grateful that I don’t need to be in the same room with those who oppose my point of view.

So that was my April Fool’s day – a rejection and acceptance of a hotly controversial subject close to my heart.

Without further adieu, here’s the link, and as long as you don’t tell me that bipolar was invented in 1995, and you’re respectful, I’m fine with your disagreeing with anything in the post! 

I’ll see you ’round next Friday, if not sooner, because I had some other really weird, challenging things happen to me within the same twenty-four-hour period – these events brought out the Daenerys Targaryen in me!!!

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I can’t wait to share with you what happened!

In the meantime, be well, dear bloggers!

XO,

Dyane

 

Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder will be published by Post Hill Press in 2017.

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34 thoughts on “More Rejection, Acceptance, Controversy & Haters In 24 Hours!

    1. Please forgive me for the late reply!!
      Thanks so much for your sweet comment!!!!!!
      Hmmmmm, I might submit the MAOI – the worst thing that happens is that they don’t publish it! (Well, at least I think so!)

      Thanks for the inspiration! Hope you have a great day!
      take care, Dyane

  1. Congratulations Dyane, that’s fantastic. I hope you see it’s not YOU, it’s THEM. Just a fickle business, but as writers its understandable to take rejection to heart. I’m so happy for you 🙂

    1. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, Pieces!
      I think you’re absolutely right that it’s them and not me!!! 😉

      Sorry to take a few days to reply – I’ve been distracted all week. I want to play catch up with reading blogs & replying to my super-cool blogosphere friends such as *you*! I’ll head over your way soon.

      Lots of love, and I really, really hope that you’re doing better….

      Xo Dy
      a.k.a.
      Fryane as Blahpolar tends to call me!

  2. That was an amazing article! You had me hooked from the very beginning all the way until the end. I’m so sorry you got some weirdo comments. The dude that wrote you an essay and said your dad was “distressed” was by far the most annoying. What in God’s name??! Oh well. Hater gonna hate. You’re doing absolutely amazing Dy. Keep up the great work.

    1. Thank you so much, honey!!!!!!!! The hater trolls are pathetic and some are scary, but thank God they are not in my face, you know? What a relief to just tune them out. I stopped reading most of the freaky comments after one or two lines. 🙂 xoxo xoxo

      1. Thanks!

        I must admit it was a very nice stroke to ye olde ego. I was high for a day, but now I’m back to feeling like shit again.

        Just kidding. (Well, sort of.)

        Now I need to focus on finishing the bloody book as I collaborate with my ghostwriter/dog Lucy,
        and stop this Fluffington Toast business for a bit.

        XOXO

    1. There’s no doubt in my head they’re all Scientologists!!! 😉

      They also could all most likely use a ketamine regiment – they seem about as bitter as a vat of lemon extract. I know I’m sinking to their level by writing such things, but dang, those comments indicate they’re all as sharp as a marble.

    1. Yes, Kitt! I agree with you & thanks so much for your wonderful comment over at HP!

      I’m familiar with most of thee anti-ECT/anti-psychiatry advocates’ modus operandi,
      and I even “know” some of them by names because I’ve read some of their comments at other pro-ECT articles.

      These people network & make it their mission to go to town on anyone like me with their ignorant, vitriolic comments. I can take it! 🙂

      Some of them have points that hold water, but others who write bizarre things like bipolar being invented in 1995, cursing, doing the ALL-CAPS routine, and asking me for personal information (that’s the tip of the iceberg), stalking me on Twitter, writing me long, anonymous diatribes on my blog (hello “Trash” function!) well – they make it clear they need help. I feel sorry for them, but I won’t cowtow to them either.

      It feels good to stand up for myself and my experience in this way!

  3. Well, the article was fantastic as well as your responses. I would have lost my marbles if it were me. I don’t mind some of the anti ECT comments bc they were intelligent, well educated people…but that 1 gal has no class or intelligence to write an argument. Bless her heart. Oh well, like several others, I’m proud of your leaps and bounds to help end stigma. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but my very best friend opted for ECT when she was at suicidal depression. And even though she did have some side effects, ECT did help and kept her alive. She is now working again, living again. I’m very wary of it. But I have respect for the way my friend was helped (as well as you too).
    Science is based on theory and whether hypotheses can be supported or null. Science will always change bc in science nothing is full proof. And because you stood up with a positive report it shows that science is far from full proof.
    Keep up the good doings, you do gooder. 😘 you’re an inspiration to so many

    1. Hi there mental mommy!

      Please forgive me for the lateness of my reply! Thank you so much for your lovely & insightful comment – it made me feel great!

      After the first couple nasty comments on the Huff Post piece, I stopped reading them. Not to sound big-header, but I’m proud of myself because in the past I would have read every single one (and attempted to reply, as if I could reason with any of them, right? I don’t think so) and their negativity and hostility would’ve brought me way down….

      I’m SO SO SO glad your best friend responded well to ECT, although I’m truly sorry she had some adverse side effects. :((( That’s fantastic she’s working and living a full life. I understand your wariness, by the way. I felt that way for many years. Only true desperation drove me to ask for ECT.

      I’ll try to keep doing good things as you advise, although if you read my latest post about my encounter with “The Kraken Lady” you will learn about my dark side! 😉
      (At least what I shared made some readers laugh!!!!)

      take care and thanks for again your wonderful encouragement –
      I wish you and your family much happiness!!!!
      (((hugs)))
      Dy

    1. A belated thank you for your comment, Kitt!

      As many have pointed out, all meds and other procedures for bipolar disorder depression/sucidal ideation (i.e. deep brain stimulation, transcranial magnetic stimulation, ketamine, which can cause bladder problems, etc.) have risks.

      I have no regrets in sharing my positive experience with ECT – the article will be there for those who can take it or leave it. What scares me now is that there’s an active legal fight against allowing ECT; I don’t know the specifics, but I hope with all my heart that ECT remains an option.

    1. Thanks so much – it is really nice to celebrate this particular acceptance, and I know you understand the pattern!!!

      Now, for the important question, Jean Lee: Don’t you think I could pitch an interview with Daniel Craig about how he can help bring more awareness to break down the stigma surrounding mental illness? He doesn’t have that much going on – according to Wikipedia, “He is involved with multiple charities including S.A.F.E Kenya, which uses street theatre to address social issues. He is also involved with the Opportunity Network, which provides access to education for low-income students in New York. In 2011, he collaborated with Dame Judi Dench to highlight gender inequality for International Women’s Day.[65] In August 2014, he added his name to a letter to British broadcasters calling for better representation for ethnic minorities.[66]

      In April 2015, the United Nations appointed Craig the first global advocate for the elimination of mines and explosive hazards.[67] The role will involve raising awareness for the UN Mine Action Service (UNMAS), and political and financial support for the cause. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told Craig: “You have been given a licence to kill, I’m now giving you a licence to save.”[67]

      Well, maybe he might be a tad busy after all. 😉 I might try pitching Stuart Goddard/Adam Ant instead – he’s a wonderful writer, by the way!

    1. Thanks my sweet & amazing & talented SuperMommyofTwins!

      Sorry to take forever to reply – it has been Spring Break the past week.
      The change in schedule totally threw me off! As a result, I haven’t read all of my beloved blogs yet & I think I even missed your latest post – oh no! I better get over there STAT!

      I promise you I’ll keep pushing back on rejection – it helps to have a success like this to remind me to never give up. Thanks again for believing in me and for making me smile with your supportive words….. XoXo

  4. OMG OMG OMG OMG I am sooooo happy for you!!!! I had made a mental note to comment that you submit the ECT article to Huff and I’m so glad they published it!!!!!

    The comments section is nutbags though. Holy crap. But you stand tall and keep smiling, cause dammit, YOU WERE PUBLISHED ON HUFFPOST!!!!! ❤ ❤

    1. “Thank you, thank you very much!” (Yes, that was an Elvis accent!) Sorry to be 6 days late with my reply, dear Leslie! I beg your forgiveness! Our Spring Break week totally threw me off…

      As far as the Huffington Post ECT article goes…well, those kooky anti-ECT/anti-psychiatry comments were SO out there that I didn’t even want to read them. I made the liberating decision to not read anything past a line or two if it was hostile. t would be like my looking at a photo of poop for a couple minutes straight – why do that to myself?

      If a comment was respectful yet disagreed with ECT, then I replied. (There were very few of those as you probably saw!) I’m so happy that out of all my submissions, this post got published. I truly didn’t think they’d accept such a controversial piece, andI respect HP for their decision to share it.

      BIG THANKS again to you for being happy for me!!!!!!!
      That’s super-cool that you thought of my submitting the ECT post too!

      As you wrote, I’ll stand tall and keep smiling – the negatrons can’t take anything away from me, and that feels very, very good! 😀

      💖 p.s. I hope you have a ***wonderful*** weekend!

  5. Congrtulations for the publication! You are an amazing writer! I’ve said it before and I will say it again, you were extremely brave and aware to ask for ECT, and I am so, so happy it worked for you! And the comments, sheeeesh! Who are these people, the one from Western Australia really was off the wall! Aside from 3 or 4 logical comments, the rest seemed quite loopy! Congratulations again, XXXXOOOO

    1. A belated thanks, beautiful Samina!

      Yes, most of the negative comments were just over the top and they didn’t reflect very well on the intelligence and emotional maturity of the anti-psychiatry/anti-ECT movements.

      Many of the commenters made it clear that if these poor souls went to a mind reader, they wouldn’t be charged. I’m bad, I know. Seriously, it makes me sad and frightens me that there are people like this in the world, but what can we do? We must forge ahead and send them compassion (tonglen) because it’s clear they need it. But I want to stay far, far away from them!

  6. I saw your ECT post on my Facebook feed. Of course I read it! Found it hopeful as someone I know personally used it for major depression and the outcome was not good for him. Keep plugging along, you are a wonderful writer w lots to say!

    1. Thanks so much – OMG, A – go take a look at the freaky comments – especially the one woman from Western Australia!! Let me know what you think – I’m dying to hear your opinion! I’m playing catch-up right now on all my blogs in the Reader – I hate it when I am behind and haven’t read them all and commented….did you see I saw your Margaritaville fiasco??????

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