The Unfriending – October Update

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A couple days ago I had an experience that completely unnerved me.

Someone with whom I had an intense virtual friendship with, but had never met in person, unfriended me on Facebook with no warning.

I was surprised at my reaction.  The abruptness of her unfriending stirred up deep feelings of rejection and insecurity within me.  I was also angry…not just at her, but at myself for getting so upset over this situation.

If we had a “real life” friendship then it would make more sense that I’d feel so deeply hurt, but I’ve always been a very sensitive person and her decision cut me to the quick.

I was aware she had serious mental health challenges.  Despite knowing she was fragile, I let down my guard with her in our messages and live Facebook chats.  She gave me her phone number and invited me to call her anytime if I needed to talk.  I never took her up on the offer, but I was moved by her willingness to listen.

Recently, when I stated my opinion on Facebook about an issue I believed in passionately, I noticed her virtual demeanor changed.  She vehemently, irrationally lashed out at another Facebook friend of mine, and that was the beginning of the end.

I’ll back up a bit…last year I took a long Facebook hiatus.  Then I decided to try Facebook again and I made a new rule for myself: I would only be friends with people I knew personally and with whom I had active relationships with. I no longer wished to be  friends with people I hadn’t seen in years (excluding a few relatives and a couple exceptions).  I didn’t want “trophy friends” or to maintain friendships with total strangers.  I soon broke my rule, however, and this friend who I write of today was one of those exceptions.

God knows I’ve suffered broken friendships in real life that dissolved in much messier ways than a simple click of a button, and I got through those rejections intact.

Each day I will think less and less about this unfriending, but it’s still fresh in my mind and it hurts.

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Writing about this unfriending helps me; writing has always been a healthy catharsis.  But writing doesn’t serve as a panacea for malice as much as I wish it did.

It occurred to me that maybe this person is having a crisis, and she acted out from an unstable place.

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Being cut off in five seconds flat is the risk anyone takes with social media friendships.  I hope that this is the first and last unfriending I have on Facebook.

Update 10/1/15 – Unfortunately it wasn’t the last unfriending! 😦

Please see this link for a tale of the 2nd unfriending that was rather bizarre:

https://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/fck-this-sht-i-love-you-goodbye/

In attempt to feel better, since this unfriending occurred I’ve been mumbling affirmations such as “I am a great friend” and “I am kind”.  I don’t want this experience to sour my soul more than it already has.  I’ll pay more attention to my beautiful girls, my husband, and myself – my virtual friendships need to take a backseat for now.  I hope that my “unfriend” finds peace and healing, and that she can turn to a network of friends who won’t give up on her even when the going gets rough.

To quote the great Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live:

“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

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And here’s an insightful quote by Jenn Talley:

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Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with a foreword by Dr. Walker Karraa (author of the acclaimed book Transformed by Postpartum Depression: Women’s Stories of Trauma and Growth) will be published by Post Hill Press next year.

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62 thoughts on “The Unfriending – October Update

  1. I so get this! It’s painful to be rejected for unknown reasons. I tend to “fill in the blanks” and blame myself, but when I hear about it happening to someone else, it seems so clear the issue exists with the other person. You’ll probably never know why she unfriended you, but look at the friends you have and tell yourself, if those cool people care about me, then I’m doing okay.

    1. Hi Belinda & thanks so much for your comment. I loved what you wrote – you’re right! I do have cool friends who are authentic, caring, non-toxic – that’s what counts.

      Welcome to the blogosphere – I’ll be checking out your blog in depth this week. 🙂

      hope you have a great day!
      Dyane

      1. Thanks Dyane. You’ll find my blog is a bit eclectic — I’m still finding my voice, so to speak, for this forum. Anyway, I’m enjoying it! And I plan to check out your blog too — what I’ve seen intrigues me!

      2. Thanks – eclectic sounds great to me! I try to mix things up these days. Blogging became a lot more fun after the first few months after I connected with followers. I hope you have a blast. 🙂

  2. Dyane, my computer and social media skills are brand new. My ‘well’ state is hypomanic and sometimes that throws people off!

    I type 100 wpm and think even quicker than that. I tried to ‘follow’ your blog…and Wendy’s as well..not the “2 bipolar chicks” one but the individual one. At first I got messages, blog posts from you guys… but I stopped receiving posts from ‘birth of a new brain.’ And Wendy’s blog too. I was a little ruffled. I thought, ‘ah there it is again, I’ve been rejected. Allison Strong comes on too strong! lol!

    I get rejected often. Not all people like me.

    So, At first I thought to myself, “These women are writing books, (as I am too ) and that takes 5 hours a day”….but now I see you again during this wonderful SayItForward week and read this FB ‘unfriending’ post and wonder if I was unfriended a couple months ago on WordPress…(or maybe I just don’t understand how to communicate on Word Press.) either way, it rents an upstairs bedroom in my head! I would like to ‘follow’ you. Was I ‘unfollowinged?’ (unfriended?) on WP?

    1. Hey Allison, I get rejected a lot too and it hurts every time, even from people I don’t like. :000
      Yeah, that’s true.

      Anyway, please know you cannot get blocked on WordPress by anyone unless the WordPress staff have been notified by authorities that you’re a danger to the blogger. I wrote a bunch of emails to their “Happiness Engineers” to make absolutely sure of this because the person who was following me triggered me so much, but they couldn’t do anything about it because I didn’t have a police report filed or the like. The transgression has to be major, if that makes sense.

      There’s no unfriending on WordPress like there is on Facebook, but there is unfollowing.

      Re: unfollowing – here’s another important thing to know because you thought that Wendy and I somehow rejected your ability to read our blog’s posts. That’s impossible; it doesn’t work that way on WordPress. What *does* happen is that you can follow someone’s blog on WordPress and sometimes it just stops working for no reason. You don’t get notified about this “dropped signal” in any way from WordPress or the blogger. I’ve had this happen a few times with blogs and I don’t always realize it, even if I really love the blog because I have a mind like that. If I realize it, then I feel bad and I worry the blogger will be mad at me for dropping off her/his radar, but it’s not my fault – it just happens and I re-follow the person’s blog if I figure it out. Sometimes I don’t.

      Personally, I found that I had to cut down most of the blogs I read/follow. I’m too overwhelmed with being the primary caregiver of my two little ones and getting the book done. The blogs I read are the ones I began following 2 years ago and the bloggers have read most or all of my posts and comment/like.

      You’re a Speedy Gonzales typist/super- prolific writer – I wish I could write as much as you & type as fast as you!!!!

      One last thought – You wrote “not all people like me”. You are not alone!
      There are people in my life who I thought cared about me but who have made it clear by their actions that they don’t give a damn about me and never did (including family members & “friends”) and I’m trying to not care so much but unfortunately I do obsess about it. I’m trying to do the positive self-talk thing and remind myself that “it’s their loss” thing. But it’s REALLY hard, though. The Naked Eyes hit song comes to mind, “There’s always something there to remind me.”

      Anyway, please take care and I really hope that this information helps even a little bit. I’m off to smother my poor kid’s leg in steroid cream as she has terrible poison oak. 😦

  3. I can 100% relate to a feeling of rejection – it’s something I’ve always struggled having been bullied twice by people that were once my friends and people randomly waking up and deciding ‘they don’t want to know me’. It’s strange. It happened between me and an old friend, then I discovered she was suffering mentally, it wasn’t about me she was going through something she couldn’t comprehend and she disappeared from random people myself included. Although events like this feel like they’re about you because ‘how could they not be?’ they’re just not. Rejection is a difficult emotion to drudge up again. But all we can do is accept a feeling, understand we will never understand it and attempt to move forward learning something. I hope you’re well, stay positive 🙂 x

    1. Thanks so much for your comment; I’m feeling better after reading it!

      I’m sorry you were bullied twice by former friends & it’s a shame that you truly understand the feeling of rejection – I guess being human means we all face that but of course some of us suffer much more than others. 😦 From now on, I’m going to be more careful as to who I let into my life. I’ve been really naive about that and I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m 45 and still haven’t gotten this lesson down. I can’t blame anyone else for my poor judgement.

      Then again, I don’t want to close myself off completely because then I’ll be miserable & lonely! It’s a fine line deciding who you can trust to be a friend. Even psychics aren’t immune to making very bad decisions! :0

      Oh well. It feels good to be moving on, hopefully a little wiser. I *really* appreciate your stopping by this blog and for sharing your personal experience. Hope you have a great weekend & thanks again for writing. Stay positive and I’ll do the same!

      (((hugs)))
      Dyane

      1. I used to think I was going to be closed and be careful about who I let in but I realized it made me wholly miserable; I will always say this you will meet two types of people the first are people who you have for as long as you need them for your own personal development and perseverance and the second are people who you can share and celebrate your personal development with for your entire life. And although losing the former may hurt sometimes always remind yourself whether a cyber friend or not you had them for as long as you needed them. I think it is something that will happen always and that’s okay as long as you extract the positives from those relationships. 🙂 Thank you. x

      2. You rock – I just found out that my Mom gave me her British Airways miles – As an English/American Literature major at college and an Anglophile, I’ve always dreamed of visiting the U.K. someday and when that happens, I’m taking you out for High Tea! 😉

  4. Try not to care that much. I know it’s hard but sometimes people take the decision to unfriend and it has nothing to do with you. I unfriended some people too but not because it was necessary something personal to them. I am sure they held it against me but I can’t do anything about it. For example one of the girls that I had to unfriend was a girl super cute and good hearted but she was falling for me and I could not respond for different reasons so since she could not understand I decided to stop any connection with her. Maybe there are other reasons behind her unfriend. In any case just think that what really matters is the people that really stick next to you no matter what! ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thank you, Cristina – I’m feeling better and supportive/understanding comments like yours definitely help me remember what’s important in life. I think it’s good that you had clear boundaries with that girl when you unfriended her; it’s clear you didn’t do it out of spite! You were taking good, healthy care of yourself. I’m appreciating those who stick by me more than ever before!!! They are worth their weight in gold, and/or chocolate! 😉 Take care – wishing you a great weekend!!! Dy

    1. Wish you heard me laugh after reading your comment.
      Which reminds me….gotta start working on my Cruisevolta costume!
      Perhaps I could add a touch of Leah Remini to my ensemble for shits & giggles!!!!

      Check out this super-intellectual article that just came out on RadarOnline- by the very act of perusing it your I.Q. will raise up 10 points!!!
      And if that wasn’t enough, reading this article makes me want to sample Leah’s hot new memoir “Troublemaker” on my Kindle post haste!!!!! Maybe I’ll even buy it!!!!!

      http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/leah-remini-scientology-tell-all-book-troublemaker-release/

      1. No sorries ever, ever needed….I get it!

        Don’t make me fly over there and belt out “I Will Always Love You” at you and the hound! 😉 XOXO

    2. Forgive *me* for not commenting on each post lately – ever since I got sick & went off Seroquel I’ve been behind!!! Hope to catch up this weekend….

  5. I understand where you’re coming from, Dyane. Online social media gives people a convenient place to voice their opinions and become friendly with others as long as they agree with the other person’s opinions. As soon as some friend voices a differing opinion, though, then all hell breaks loose, especially if the offended person is currently facing problems in the physical world. It’s all too convenient to unfriend someone, or to not only unfriend them, but also attack that person. You did nothing wrong. Friends aren’t people who only get along with people as long as they agree 100% with another person, friends are people who get along with others even though they have different opinions on a subject. The people who unfriend others who dare to voice a different opinion on any given topic are narcissistic, totally selfish people. They’re shallow, and you’re probably better off without these psychic vampires in your life. You and I probably don’t see eye-to-eye on various topics, but I value our online friendship and I’ll never unfriend anyone simply because we don’t agree 100% on things. That’s just shallow and pathetic, and although I have some character flaws, I’m not a shallow person. Chin up, Dyane! You are not at fault for feeling the way you do about this. You’re a good person. Lucy wouldn’t love you if you weren’t!

    1. Hey Vincent! Please forgive me for taking longer to reply than I wanted to take – I know you won’t unfriend me over it! 😉

      Everything you write here is profoundly true. Lucy just barked that she agrees with you as well. It would be pretty boring if you and I agreed on everything. As long as we’re respectful to one another when we disagree, it’s all good. And I know you agree with that, hee hee!

      I’m finding that I have less and less tolerance for anyone who remotely affects me like a psychic vampire. I’m too sensitive and take in too much to be around those who don’t genuinely care for my well-being. Even though you and I haven’t met IRL I feel your kindness come through loud and clear. It’s beautiful and precious thing. You’re anything BUT shallow!

      I know I’m a good person, unless you get me in a car. (prepare yourself for a little digression!) Then road rage takes over me. I become Satan! (Just like everyone else does around here!) I’m working on this but it’s really tough – I kid you not. I tell my girls on our morning drive to school that when we get behind the facade of our cars we forget that real, live human beings are behind the wheel. People become so horrible to one another. It’s one of the aspects I hate most about day-to-day life.

      I’ll get off the soapbox now. On a MUCH-brighter note compared to road rage, your comment lifted my spirits. M y chin is now up high!

      Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your rodential friendship!!!!
      Dy (and Lucy!)

  6. I am so insecure. All I could think was, is Dyane back on Facebook? Does she no longer want me as a friend? Did she try to block me from following her on WordPress?

    THAT’s what social media can do to us. Heck, that’s what life can do to us. Perhaps it’s our minds turning against us.

    Maybe I just have social anxiety, or borderline personality disorder. Maybe I’m really self-centered and think everything is about me when it has absolutely nothing to do with me.

    1. OMG girl, I consider you to be one of my BEST friends even though I’m terrible in terms of returning phone calls!!!! :((((((

      I am so NOT back on freakbook!
      The only reason I’d haunt it again & reactivate my account is for the book’s platform –
      but that would be next year and I would need to feel like it’s the definitely the right thing to do.

      LOVE YOU!
      Maybe I should have my first tattoo be of you!
      Forget about Lucy, the girls or Craig! 😉
      XOXO

      p.s. I finally caught the LinkedIn bug but I don’t even need to use it, do I? Not yet anyway.
      So why am I getting into it now???
      Can you say “procrastination”?
      Can you say “I feel good if someone accepts my invite”?
      It’s a little bit like…..gasp, FACEBOOK!!!!!! :000000000

      1. Not like Facebook. Think of it as networking. Just connect and publish. Do not get to deeply involved. Twitter is great for what you do. You can use Publicize function of WordPress to post to LinkedIn.

        Of course, when it comes time to publish, do what your publisher says. Both Walker and Lisa Henderson probably have feedback about book marketing. Rachel Thompson markets books and offers great free online advice at BadRedheadMedia.com.

      2. Love this answer! Thank you. Just realized you’re doing your NAMI walk so soon & I wish I could join you! Talk/email soon & thanks a million for being a voice of reason.

  7. Just catching up on my blogs, Sup Diane! Ha, yes, writing is not a great panacea for malice, alas. I don’t think it’s a panacea for ANYTHING. I should know, I do it all day! My basic attitude toward the other matter here is, to repeat what I said once on Morgue’s blog, Fuck Douchebook and Fuckerberg and the shitty little world they created where one billion people sound EXACTLY the same. Its like some kind of collective nightmare of narcissism and personality disintegration. Just my thoughts! Whoever unfriended you probably got a petty thrill for ten seconds. But yeah even if you weren’t “real” friends in the first place rejection sucks, virtual or not, we’re just soft-bellied apes who like our backs getting scratched, not smacked and “unfriended.”

    1. Hey Andrew! I need to catch up on reading blogs too – I’m way more behind than usual because of the damn cold that messed me up for 8 tedious days.

      Anyway, your comment made me laugh and it also made me feel encouraged – I really appreciate that more than feeble letters can express. You truly are hilarious and astute as well – it’s a great combination!

      I had a moment of weakness last week when I was weak with the cold/cough from Hades
      in which I visited the unfriender’s blog. I wrote a scathing comment. It was very cutting, but while I was writing it I knew if I posted it then I would sink to her low, messed-up, cruel level and I’d be spreading more sickness. Just like she did with me. So I erased it.

      As far as WordPress & blocking followers goes, you definitely can’t block anyone. I’ve been in touch with their “Happiness Engineers” (yep) at length about this issue, and they said no way, no how, unless it’s a situation in which the police should be involved and then WordPress can take over.

      Thanks for coming by & helping me smile instead of grimace about the whole silly mess!

      Your soft-bellied ape, (Extra-soft bellied thanks to Softbellyoquel/a.k.a. Seroquel)
      Lady Dy

      1. You have to be kidding me! Happiness Engineers! Do they wear Happiness Engineer badges? I really hope they do. Omg we are the Technocratic Society Incarnate. Shoot me now. And really, you can’t block creeps and lurking pervs? The Happiness Engineers have concluded that this entirely sensible and rational freedom to manage your own damn blog is an infringement on our collective happiness? Such bozos. Bah.

  8. You are a good friend, never doubt that. What you cannot control is someone else’s emotional state. I wouldn’t let it gnaw at you – you are awesome and it just means now you have more awesomeness to give to the rest of us that are still your friends!

    1. I like the way you look at it, Vic!! Thanks for giving me a much-needed perspective. I’m doing better now in terms of forgetting one of the unfrienders completely, but unfortunately the other one had the audacity to visit my blog and comment a few weeks ago! (She didn’t write anything mean, but it creeped me out) I wish we could block on WordPress, but since we can’t, I must accept what went down. There are many virtual situations that are far, far worse than the ones I’ve experienced. I’m lucky!!!

  9. I did that where only if I have a relationship with you do I keep you on. It still is too stressful for me to FB really. So I link the blog and check the comments every few days. I just don’t have what it takes to maintain virtual friendships.

    1. I love your name “mylifeonthefaillist”- it reminds me of the Kathy Griffin show I used to watch long ago: “My Life on the D List”. I loved that show and I loved her, even though her plastic surgery freaked me out. I felt terrible that she was betrayed by her husband Matt. (If that was true – it was a reality show, after all!)

      I digress……

      I’m VERY glad you’re taking good care of yourself by staying off FB. I think it shows how well you know yourself – to realize it causes you stress and it’s not healthy. No need to be on it. There are other things to do that will feed your soul. Reading. Watching silly reality tv, ha ha.

      I value my blog friendships, which are only few on purpose, but they are special. Most of my Facebook friendships have not worked out. In any case (forgive my ramble) all I can say with 100% absolute certainty is that it’s more than okay to not maintain virtual friendships!!!!

      Do what works for you and don’t worry about the negatrons. I find it interesting that once i quit FB cold-turkey I didn’t miss it after a couple days. I had been waaaaaaaaay too into it every day for so many hours that I won’t admit it here. I’m not sure what that says about me or Facebook, but I do know that I don’t miss seeing all kinds of things that drained my mental energy and took me away from reality.

      thanks for your comment and I wish you my best,
      Dyane “mylifeonthelazylist” H. 😉

      1. New goal in life is to build happy, healthy, meaningful relationships. So I am trying to concentrate my time there. I actually have a few friends I have transitioned from FB to real life by virtual friendships, I mean surface. Where you can only be only so much of your true self. Love a good ramble. Thanks for the liking the name. Sometimes life is more about what you learn while failing. Ha.

      2. Can I please copy your goal? :))) Sadly I have had two relationships go south over the past few days & I’m pretty freaked out. Hope to see you back here, and I’ll be sure to check out your blog when I have a few more cups of java!!!

  10. I know how you feel- I had a friend who didn’t unfriend me, she semi-blocked me. I discovered it when I went to post a Happy Birthday to her page, and noticed that no one else had done it- even though it was late in the day and you know someone would have posted something. Then I noticed all I could see was anything she posted as public. I felt that irritation, hurt. As far as I knew, things were fine. Why did she have to do something that felt very passive-aggressive? I decided in the end, FB just isn’t worth getting all up in arms over. But it still makes you feel lousy when someone does that, and it comes out of left field!

    1. Hi there coversaralea! Thanks so much for stopping by.

      Oh, how I wish that you didn’t know what this yucky internet experience was like! 😦 It sounds like your friend put you on her “Restricted” list which means exactly what you wrote: you can only read her public posts.

      I’m so sorry that you had that realization when you were doing something thoughtful: simply wishing her a happy birthday!!! I’m glad that you didn’t let this Facebook incident spark tons of anger in you; I like your attitude very much. I believe that in many cases what goes around comes around. Just from reading your comment, I’m struck by your kindness, and I hope that you have some very wonderful things happen to you super-soon. 🙂

      take care, be well, Dyane

  11. Why did this show up as a new post for me in my Reader? I don’t know but it’s always nice to hear from my Lady DyDy. People are ghosts, they come and they go whether it’s virtual or in the real world. I once dated a guy for a couple of months who one day left my house after a date and just….disappeared! Never heard from him again, he wouldn’t return my calls or texts….stings just the same. They call it Ghosting. Some people just don’t want to explain themselves I guess. Whatever. Not very emotionally mature obviously. Good to watch for in any kind of relationship. 😀 This world is changing and not always for the good.

    1. Hey my darlin’ – this post is just a bit updated for October, 2015! I posted it because a blogger I enjoy reading (Nina Badzin: http://ninabadzin.com) wrote about unfriending in her monthly column at HerStories:

      http://www.herstoriesproject.com/2015/10/when-to-unfriend-on-facebook/

      Nina inspired me to reflect upon the topic last week and I revised this post in anticipation that she’d be sharing it with her network. She was very cool to Tweet a link to this post with a nice endorsement.

      Yeah, I’ve heard about the term “ghosting”! I’m so sorry that happened to you – it was clearly HIS loss. All I can say is that I was shocked that I didn’t miss Facebook within a couple days of deactivating my account. I had been really into it, and it brought a lot of joy into my life. But Twitter and blogging is more than enough for me. I also know that being friends who battle with bipolar disorder& other stuff is a slippery slope even in the best of times. I was naive. I trust my dog Lucy more than most people these days. You can’t beat loyal + loving, even if she’s always bent on my giving her some Scooby Snacks! 😉 XOXO

      1. You’ve gotta go COLD TURKEY!!!!! That’s the way. I guarantee that you won’t miss it within 48 hours! Increase your blog reading. Also, are you on Twitter? If not, try Twitter. I LOVE Twitter and it feeds that Facebook nerve zing without all the drama for the post part. Please try and tell me what happens. SMOOCHES!!!!!!!!!! I’m at @birthofnewbrain – don’t be scared! It’s very cool!

      2. Yes, do it! i promise to catch up on your posts too. Got in a huge funk today. 😦 Tomorrow will be better! Love ya! Dyane “Proud of my Anal Crevice” Harwood the 1st p.s. tweet Demi she could learn a thing or too from us!!!!!!!

  12. Oh, i see ! a very long and deep relation be it social or virtual has affect on us, I had awful experience in my friendship life that is why i don’t make friend. you are my first ever virtual friend i ever made. Hope this reply is not so late that it is painful to re visit the post. love

    1. It’s totally fine that you wrote about this – that is very sweet and thoughtful for you to be concerned I could get bummed out about it yet again. I’ve let the whole enchilada go, which is sooooooo nice. I know you can understand how nice that must be! 🙂

      I guess what was so lame about it was that I didn’t see it coming *at all* , so it totally blindsided me – I was incredibly caught off-guard. With some friendships you get a sense that things aren’t good. With this one, nah.

      But I learned from it and I hope the person finds peace because she has a good heart. Her mental illness may have completely taken over, which would explain it all. I’l never know.

      I am so sorry you have had a terrible experience in your friendship life – you don’t deserve that!!!!! I hope at some point the pain melts and you can make wonderful, loyal real-life friends because you *do* deserve that!!!

      xoxoxoxoxo Dyane

    1. I too used to hate FB and I got off it as well! There are plenty of other cool things to do like blogging and going to all those awesome Finn shows! ;))) Thanks so much for stopping by J – you are awesome!

  13. I know how you feel! I had a virtual friend that I also made this exception for (I have the same FB rules!). We connected online because we share a rare medical issue. We decided to meet in person. I drove two hours to meet her and she never showed up. I called her over and over again and saw on FB that she had decided to hang out with some friends. I never heard from her. I felt like the biggest loser in the world – the rejection hurt so bad! My real friends helped me see that the problem was with her not me! Same goes for you 😉

    1. Ooop – I just wrote a reply and lost it! Anyway, I am SO sorry Kate for that awful experience you had with that Facebook $%*^(&)&. Ooooohhhh, how dare she? I’m glad you had some real friends to help you see the light. She’s lucky you didn’t find her car and let the air out of all the tires! 😉 (I’m immature, what can I say? 😉 Anyway, thanks for sharing with me as you are making me feel better! You are awesome and it’s totally her loss to not have you in her life. I really appreciate your taking the time to comment and look forward to reading your next blog post – you know I’m a big fan! 😉 Take care & I send you a virtual, non-freaky hug!!!!

  14. Hey there: I have no idea how one knows when one is “unfriended”. Do you get notified or something? Just wondering … And don’t fret–these days folks have such skewed ideas of what friendship, commitment, trust, abiding, and honesty are about anyway, it’s a long shot to have more than a few real, true folks around. This is not a bad thing. Your real friends are those, be they virtual or flesh and blood, who stick around despite the warts.
    Beth

    1. Hey there Beth, and thanks so much for your comment & support!!! On Facebook I didn’t get notified of her unfriending me. For some reason I went to her FB page and the green box on it read: “Add friend”. Then I sent her a message asking her if she unfriended me and she wrote back “yes”. There might be computer programs that indicate when someone unfriends you on FB – I know that there is one for Twitter called “Unfollower”! Annnnyway, I’m letting it go. It has been three days now and writing about it helped me process it. I know you understand. I loved your comment! I’ll stop fretting now! :)) I have some real folks around me and that’s all that matters. I just need a dog for some canine therapy!

  15. Oh Dyane, I know this feeling so well! I am extremely paranoid by nature! When people unfriend me on FB or don’t text me back immediately, I go crazy with feelings of inadequacy! It’s an everyday struggle for me to keep my mind focussed on what’s important!

    1. Hi there N. Elearnore S.! Thank you SO much for your comment of support. You make me feel less alone by sharing what we have in common. I have an obsessive personality so I don’t let go of things like my much thicker-skinned husband does. I let negative events rankle under my skin. Not only do I miss out on what matters, but it affects my two beautiful little girls. I need to start being a Mama Bear and let this you-know-what GO! Thanks again for making me feel better about this icky ick. :)))))) Your kindness and empathy shine through your words…I’ll be looking forward to your next blog post, that’s for sure!

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