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The past week has been so mundane that I was tempted to skip today’s post as I didn’t want to put you to sleep.  But as a fervent blog reader, I appreciate other bloggers’ “blah” posts sometimes even more than the impressive, erudite “Fresh Pressed”-esque ones.  However, I don’t feel a sense of schadenfreude when I read about a blogger’s dreary, everyday struggles.  What happens is that I often connect with that writing on a deeper level.  It also feels good to know I’m not the only one plodding along with often bipolar-related challenges that few people in my life understand.

My groggylicious fatigue didn’t magically disappear last week.  I received my psychiatrist’s blessing to lower my already-low dose of quetiapine (Seroquel), a medication associated with fatigue.  Dr. D. suggested that I chart daily how I’m affected by the med change.  It’s too soon for me to tell if lowering the amount is helping or hindering; I’ll need at least another week to sort it out.

I’ve been dragging despite doing (mostly) healthy habits.  Worst of all, I haven’t felt like working on my book.  This scares me more than any zombie movie or True Tori Season II episode could.  

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Verrrrrrry scary!

While I allowed myself to have two days off (per my writing mentor Wendy K. Williamson’s advice), I didn’t jump back into my writing routine as I had planned.  

It’s not too late to jump back in…the day is still young.  I can still open my Word file and start tapping away – no one is stopping me.  It takes all of, what, ten seconds to double click the icon?  Even if I write for a measly ten minutes I’ll feel better.  I always do.  Every writing book I’ve read, such as the Natalie Goldberg bestseller “Writing Down the Bones” or the more recent SARK book “Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper” asserts that what matters is to keep the writing momentum going whether I’m feeling fired up about it or not. (It turns out that I did write for a little while, which was a triumph!)

Throughout my life I’ve been an “all or nothing” gal in many respects.  When “nothing” describes my writing output, I start to panic.  Since this has been a dismal writing week, I’ve had niggling thoughts such as “Just give it up –  you’re never going to finish!”  and “F*ck it.”

Then I tell those thoughts to go where the sun don’t shine!!!

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Although my writing drive has dampened, there remains a voice inside that says to keep going.  While my book isn’t going to be of Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison-caliber, or possibly “Sweet Valley High: Double Love”, that’s okay; I resigned myself to that fact long ago.  

That’s where I’m at on a cold, quiet Monday morning.  

One thing I know for sure:

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JUST KIDDING!

One thing I know for sure is that the humdrums * too shall pass!  If you’re also going through the humdrums, feel free to vent below.  I won’t bill you for it. 😉

Take good care of yourselves, my friends,

XO Dyane

* “humdrums” is defined as “lacking variety, boring, dull”, and “humdrumming” isn’t an actual word as far as I know, but I like the sound of it!

————————————————————————————————————–

Please endorse me for the WEGO Health Activist Award

If you want to share the link that’s fine too!

I was nominated by the bestselling author/bipolar advocate

Wendy K.  Williamson. It takes  about 20 seconds to endorse nominees. Visit:  

https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/4811

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24 thoughts on “Humdrumming Along!

  1. Can we just all move somewhere warm and sunny for the winter? The dreary weather in my neck of the woods has sucked all of my energy. I’m sorry you’re feeling blah, but hopefully you’re better now or at least moving in that direction.

    1. Dearest Grief Happens, I just realized this morning, in the 35 degree chill, that last year at this exact time we were in Hawaii! On a beautiful coffee farm!!!!! And it was 80 degrees there. The only drawback was the humidity, but still…..I loved it. Thanks for making me less alone with my blahs. It’s cold, but at least it’s sunny today. I send you some sunshine STAT – I know you appreciate it like I do! I also hope that you feel more energy soon. If you do, could you please share it with me? 😉

      take care & happy Thanksgiving – I’ll be thinking of that color-coordinated family photo opp! I’ll want to hear how *that* goes. And remember….it’s not too late to buy your sparkling white turban, robe and tambourine!

  2. Oh, Dyane, I needed to hear this today. I’ve been absolutely energyless, and only managed to tap out about 10 minutes worth yesterday. Felt like a total slug. Snuggled into my big chair with my soft, warm blanket, clicked on Hulu and watched an all-day marathon of Hell’s Kitchen. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Been feeling this way for a couple of days. Last month, I scheduled out my blog for this month so I could write on my book but feels like I’m losing ground. Been beating myself up until I saw your blog today. (Breathing, breathing, breathing.) I think I need to give myself a break – may simply READ again. Dunno, but you’ve given me some hope.
    Thank you.

    1. I just got off the phone with my therapist, Susan (sometimes we have a phone session since it’s a long, windy drive to her home office) AND you are SO not alone. Her other clients (& so many of our internet friends) are going through lack of energy too. I have to admit that watching an all-day marathon of “Hell’s Kitchen” snug as a bug in a rug sounds wonderful to me! It is waaaay better than holing up under the covers in bed, attempting to sleep off a sluggy state. Please be extra-gentle with yourself about that, and everything else too! :)))

      And this book of yours – I’m so proud of you for taking that tremendous project on. But I also know how draining, challenging and overwhelming it can be! You’ll gain ground again with writing your book – yes-yes-yes…. just give yourself a break!

      It thrills me that I’ve given you a smidgen of hope as all of your comments over the months have totally lifted my spirits! If you get a chance, read my friend Tempest’s brief blog post (I reblogged it today) as I think you may find it interesting too!

      take care, dear Susan!!!!!
      lots of love, Dyane

      1. Just read Tempest’s blog – so nice to know I’m not alone. Wrote for about two hours today. Now I’m going to put up Christmas decorations. Whoopee!

        Thanks again, Dyane. 😀

    2. Two hours of writing is nothing to sneeze at!!!! I’m SO proud of you Susan!!!! Now, can you come write my book for me….for about 2 hours? 😉 Have fun putting up those festive decorations!! Take care, dear one!!
      xoxo
      Dyane

  3. I wonder if the “humdrums” are contagious?! I have been feeling a bit outta sorts lately. I don’t know if it is all the stuff going on in my life and just the stress of the holidays coming up. All I know is that, like you, I am trying to shake it off and get on with living my life!

    1. I hear you, Vic! It seems like so many folks are struggling with the season change, hence the humdrumdemic, if you will! 😉 I think it’s everything you mention. Living with mental illness (either firsthand or in one’s significant partner) is hard enough as it is!

      I know you’re trying to hard to get through each day, and hold it all together. I swear, Vic, if I ever hit the California SuperLotto Plus jackpot (and you never know in this crazy life – anything can happen! ) I’m treating you & your family to a weekend at a ritzy spa!!! Maybe even a full week if it’s in the millions……

  4. I feel like I’ve been going through the humdrums since I got on my meds, but this weekend I’ve found myself awfully happy and am actually able to concentrate on catching up with my blog reading today, so maybe things are looking up! Hopefully they will for you, too!

    1. I’m so stoked you’re feeling great!!!! I’m also happy you’re catching up on blog reading since I always love it when you stop by & say hi.

      I have hope things will get less humdrummy (another made-up word but who cares, right?) & you definitely inspire me, as usual! I got some writing done today, which makes a big difference in terms of lifting my mood. Even crappy writing feels good, ha ha – I’m lowering my standards.

      Wishing you an awesome week, my friend!
      xi
      Dy

      1. Oh I get excited when I write ANYTHING, including “I feel blah today.” Something about the feel of the keyboard under my fingers just makes me happy.

        Wishing you an awesomer week (another made up word?)!

    2. I’m so glad that you found yourself awfully happy this weekend AND able to concentrate. May it continue. I live in hope of happier times coming for myself. They always do. I actually had quite a long run the last few months. So, with hope and patience, I await my next period of aliveness.

      1. Thank you Star! I’m so glad you had a great run recently, and I’m sure it will come again. I love that you wrote, “with hope & patience I await my next period of aliveness” – it’s a beautiful phrase coming forth from a beautiful, starry soul! :)))

    1. Dear friend, I hear you. We are kindred spirits. I agree the weather has a ginormous effect upon us. It was 37 degrees this morning when I drove the girls to school, and it’s just going to get colder from now on. Meanwhile, it’s probably 84 degrees in Kona!!!! (I always remember that it’s way warmer in Kona this time of year, ha ha)

      I’d like to skip over the holidays, bah humbug!

      Thanksgiving without my Dad is not really Thanksgiving to me, although I want it to be fun for the girls’ sake. We are going to Tahoe for X-mas, which I’m veryyyyyyyyy relieved about because that means no dealing with extended family. (Sounds terrible, but ’tis true)

      Hopefully Craig won’t break his foot again like he did up there during a previous X-mas holiday! And we’ll keep Lucy from another Squaw Valley Horror Show where she pretended she was Cujo with every other dog she spotted, both near and far. And some people too! Good times! 😉

      1. I can see that Thanksgiving reminds you of your father, and that you miss him very much. I do hope that Xmas in Tahoe is fun, injury-free, and that Lucy behaves herself.

  5. I peter out writing blog posts, and here you are writing a book! Amazing. The seroquil can be a nightmare, I hope that a smaller dose helps!
    I cannot wait to read your book!!! Keep rockin’ it this week, I have faith in you!
    C

    1. I want YOU to write a book!!!! How about “Life with Murphy & The Gang” or “The Sage Mum Tells It Like It Is!”….you are one rockin’ writer. I’m chomping at the bit, waiting for your next post so your timing today is perfect. I’ll read it and comment tonight as my reward for getting me & my family through another day in one piece.

      Re: meds
      I was only taking 25 mg of Seroquel a.k.a. Snoozeoquel (down from 100mg) so yes, that’s a teeny tiny amount, but as you know, this is super-powerful stuff. I chopped my small, round 25mg pill in half so it’s not very accurate at all I’m afraid, esp. with my crappy pill cutter. I can’t afford a compounding pharmacy, plus I’m too lazy to do that even if I had the $. Anyway, the 14-15 ish mg amount didn’t seem to help me. I’m back at 25 mg for now. The grogginess fades away by 10 AM or so. At least I can function. More or less. Chocolate helps.

      Anyway, thanks for writing! I love hearing from you. You can count me as your biggest fan of “The Sage Mum” blog – just gotta catch up on your glorious archives! :)))))))))

      To anyone reading this, check this out:

      http://thesagemum.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/the-dangling-carrot/

      have a great day!!
      DyDy

      p.s. Please give Murphy my fondest, slobberiest regards and take/tweet another picture of him soon!

  6. You always crack me up, just when I need a laugh! I love you so!! And hell yeah, I’ll take you up on your offer. We can tattoo the cover on your butt & have you flash people! 😉

    Oh yes, I’m the Queen of Maturity!!!

    Smooches to my sweet, fiery friend! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
    DyDy

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