My “Placeholder” Friday Post

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Hi everyone!  I hope your Friday (and for some of my Aussie/NZ friends, your Saturday) is going well.

Last month I vowed to blog Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays instead of publishing daily posts as I had been doing for the previous four months. I thought it would be much much easier to blog less often than every single day – wouldn’t you think the same thing? 😉 Well, ironically, it has been harder for me to write the less I write – if I don’t prime my “writing pump” each day, it gets stopped up. My favorite author Madeleine L’Engle’s advice was to write for a minimum of thirty minutes a day, and she’d be shaking her head at silly me for breaking her golden rule!

Having my two kids out of school and adjusting to a new schedule with much less free time is reason enough for me to have blogging challenges.  Even so, I was hanging in there with it all and getting a little writing done until a couple days ago.

I don’t have the energy to go into detail about it yet, but I plan on writing about this past week soon. I’m struggling about a extended family situation.  I’m not bottoming out, and I have a solid support system in place, but I’m feeling totally depleted emotionally and physically all the same.  My counselor has helped me out a great deal.  I have my furry antidepressant Lucy by my side, which is such a comfort, but neither my therapist or Lucy have magical powers to ameliorate the shitty thing that has been going on.

Over the past two days in particular I’ve been incredibly sad about this heartbreaking dilemma.  It’s something that’s impossible for me to fix.  While yes, I can change the way I react to what’s happening, it’s not so simple as it sounds.  It’s a totally complex and unfair dilemma.  I need to be strong and have faith that I will get through all this in one piece and life will get a little easier.

So if you’re into praying, please pray for me & my family!

Due to all that stuff, I wasn’t going to write today, but it feels good to just come up with a few paragraphs.  In order to relax from the sorrow I’ve been feeling, I’ve been treating myself to some creature comforts.  Some aren’t so great (i.e. gelato and chocolate chip cookies…and I don’t stop at a single scoop or one cookie!) but other treats are calorie-free, thank God.

I bought a couple books on my Kindle.  Knowing I have my books at the ready wherever I go is a Godsend.  I gravitate to certain types of books when I’m really bummed out, such as memoirs of people who really have it bad.  Their stories help me to put my life into perspective.  I bought “Why Did She Jump?” by Joan Childs, LCSW, a book that I’ve heard about for months and it was finally published this week.  Its theme is really heavy as the title implies, but it’s interesting, especially as the family depicted in this book are Jewish and Judaism is my cultural heritage.

Here’s the Amazon description:

Six million people in America suffer from bipolar disorder. Joan Child’s daughter, Pamela, suffered from the disorder, bouncing from doctor to doctor in search of treatment. Yet the demons became louder, and on a summer day in July 1998, the same day that the Oprah Winfrey Show aired a segment on bipolar disorder, Joan Childs’ 34-year-old-daughter leaped to her death from the window of her father’s 15-story apartment. Why Did She Jump? is her mother Joan’s haunting story of grief and guilt, yet it is a beautiful story of love and the courage to find peace and purpose once again.

With brutal honesty and vivid detail, Joan recalls how the entire family became entangled with Pam’s illness as they watched her dive deeper into the darkness where no one could reach her. Ironically, Pam and Joan were both psychotherapists yet, with all their credentials and medical knowledge, Pam still could not be saved.  Why Did She Jump? masterfully looks back even as it looks forward. Written with vivid memories of Pamela’s troubled yet loving life and the final days of her funeral and shiva (a seven-day mourning period in Judaism), the story will break your heart and then mend it again.

I also bought Australian singing legend Kate Ceberano’s long-awaited memoir “I’m Talking: My Life, My Words, My Music”.  I’ve heard of Kate Ceberano for years, but I’m actually not even familiar with her music!  I just love reading books about famous musicians, with a special weakness for New Zealand and Australian performers.  I downloaded Ceberano’s book’s sample and I really enjoyed reading it, so I completely splurged (I don’t even want to tell you how much it was!) and I bought her book.  Here’s the description:

For the first time, Kate Ceberano, one of Australia’s best-loved entertainers, shares her story.

In her own unmistakeable voice, Kate Ceberano takes us on a very personal journey from her suburban childhood, her immersion in the Melbourne club scene of the eighties and her rise to stardom at the age of fourteen when she fronted the wildly popular funk bank I?m Talking, to the life of a female performer and recording artist in London, Los Angeles and New York.

With parallel careers as a pop and jazz singer and songwriter, Kate has received the highest awards in the Australian music industry including the ARIA for Best Female Artist. She has delighted audiences in Harry M. Miller’s hugely successful Jesus Christ Superstar, won a legion of fans when she won Dancing with the Stars, and made a triumphant debut for Opera Australia in South Pacific. Now she reveals, for the first time, just what that was like.

People have been talking about Kate Ceberano since she was a teenager: Hugh Jackman described her as having ‘truly one of the great voices this country has produced’; for Rolling Stone she is ‘pure, soulful and powerful’. Now Kate is talking for herself.  Accompanied by never before seen photos.

So that’s what’s going on with me.  Please forgive me for typos and/or syntax errors – I usually wait a day before publishing a post because there are always, always errors to fix and ways to tighten up and improve even a measly few paragraphs!  I’ve heard this time and time again from other writers so it’s nice to know it’s not just me.

On a brighter note, I’ve gotten some fantastic comments this week on my blog – thank you so much!!!  I haven’t been able to reply to most of them yet, but I will once I recharge a bit.  In the meantime, thank you for reading this, and thanks to those of you who have been so kind and encouraging about my writing.  It means the absolute world to me.

take care,

Dyane

 

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19 thoughts on “My “Placeholder” Friday Post

    1. You are *so* sweet to write this! You understand the situation more than anyone else on the planet does, except for Craig. Thank you for your gracious offer for me to vent!! It turns out that things improved a great deal over the past 2 days. While the root of the situation/dynamic will never change, at least there was a respite from all the draining drama. I was incredibly grateful for that, as you can imagine! Sending you so much love…xoxooxoxox

  1. My pleasure! I feel very lucky to have your blog as a resource, to be honest.

    Your “Shedding Light On Mental Illness” blog followers are (almost) spoiled! I love its tagline, by the way: “Inspire Hope. Change Minds” Your writing is definitely doing both of those things with me & I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂

  2. Why Did She Jump? sounds like a good book to read. Kate Ceberano is a great entertainer and her life would be very interesting.
    Ebooks are a great technology that allows us to read whenever we like and wherever we are.
    I also like that I have control over font size, giving my bad eyesight, and the day/night feature is simply brilliant.
    Simple decisions do take on a complexity in the mentally ill brain. It’s very frustrating.

    1. I’ve read about half of “Why Did She Jump” and it really does take my mind off all my problems!

      That’s so cool that you know who Kate Ceberano is! 🙂 Since you live in Oz, I’ll tell you that a few weeks ago I came across (and read) another memoir by an Aussie female singer: Tina Arena! Yes, “Tiny Tina”! I know she’s super-poppy and I have no idea if you like or loathe her/her music, but it was a very fascinating book, especially towards the end when she explored her Italian side of the family’s history. I like a couple of her albums so it was fun to read about the different brilliant musicians/producers she has worked with.

      Ebooks are a blast but I do adore the feel and smell of a “real” book and there’s nothing like it. I am satisfied with having both mediums at the ready!

      Lastly, oh yes, how right as rain your are – simple decisions DO baffle me when I am mentally ill – i.e. “Can I stand up?” “Can I brush my teeth?” UGH. I wouldn’t wish that on almost anyone!

      Thanks for writing as always – it’s fun to think that you’re on the other side of the world right this moment, in such a beautiful land. It’s almost sleepytime here, but you’re getting ready for an enjoyable Saturday evening – perhaps reading, or blogging or watching a film!! I wish you a lovely time.

  3. I hope things get well with you and your family hun. you are always in my prayers. wish u all the happiness. sending u lots of love n a big hug. xoxoxox

    1. Hi again sweetie – things are getting better. I honestly think that you and Kitt O’Malley’s prayers helped a lot! I totally believe in the power of remote prayer! Great to see you here and I eagerly await your next blog post! I miss your writing but I totally knew you needed to take that break. It’s absolutely necessary….everyone should take a break now & then! xoxoxoxooxoxox

  4. Hi Dyane, I really hope things resolve themselves well with your situation.

    If you want to hear a song from an NZ performer that has something to do with mental illness, I wrote this back when I wasn’t working for a year and a half, post-breakdown: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=799398&songID=8793381

    I have other tunes including one my wife and I wrote together… This just appropriate right now 🙂

    All the best.

    1. Hello there James – I *totally* want to hear your Kiwi-infused song! Good for you for writing it when you weren’t working after such a hard time in your life. Thanks for providing the link! I’ll let you know when I get a chance to hear it over the weekend!

      That’s so cool that you’ve written with your wife as well – you two are truly the talented, dynamic duo. My husband (a Beatles expert/freak – he also likes the Finn Brothers, thank God) is a wonderful guitar player, but we play our music separately. I sing, write a little and play a little guitar.

      Thanks for your lovely support!!!

    1. You have powerful prayers, Kitt. Knowing you’ve been out there praying for me has helped me more than you know.

      Thank you for your generosity, your faith, and your big heart!! I’m adding a few more special, fancy sushi rolls to your dinner that I’ll be taking you out to someday! 😉 (Yep, I’m such a goofball!!)

  5. Glad you decided to post today but so sorry you are going through a rough time! Keep the puppy close. Hope everything turns our okay!

    1. Thank you so much for this comment, Madame Henderson!

      I’ve been keeping Lucy pup close. Unfortunately she ate some chicken “refuse” ( we have three chickens who roam our yard for an hour a day) and she got sick all over our old, ugly carpet. Luckily Craig has been meaning to remove the carpet as there’s a lovely, old red oak wood floor underneath. He’s stripping it off this very moment. :))))))

      Apart from our floor situation, my family-related matters are improving a bit, and no matter what ensues, it’s totally wonderful to have the support of my fellow bloggers.

      Especially mega-talented writers like……..
      YOU!

      p.s. Speaking of writing, I LOVE today’s L.E. Henderson’s Passionate Reason blog post about the INTRINSIC VALUE OF TWITTER!

      1. Thank you so much for all the generous compliments! Glad you enjoyed my post! 😀

    1. Amy, it’s so nice to know I’ve had your prayers as well. I consider them to be “power prayers” along with other awesome bloggers who have commented on this post.

      On a separate note, I am really enjoying your prolific blog – every single topic is relevant to Your perspectives and themes are awesome!

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