Mother’s Day…I’m Just Not That Into You

I don’t need flowers, I don’t need a fancy dinner, and I don’t need lingerie.

I DO need chocolate.  But I prefer to pick it out myself since I have VERY high standards!

I am referring to Mother’s Day, of course.  While I know that many people appreciate this holiday, I’m not one of them.  I’ve never connected with it, even after I became a mother.  All I cared about growing up was my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas – that was it.  This year I’ve felt particularly repelled by the incredible amount of spam that has appeared in my email folder over the past three weeks.

Strawberries for Mother’s Day!!!  Floral bouquets for Mother’s Day!!!  You-name-it for Mother’s Day!

For me this day has become too loaded with happy expectations and it ends in disappointment.  Who needs it? Especially since you all know I have THE best Mother’s Day gift ever:   snooze

Seven-week-old puppy Lucy snoozing on my pillow despite the fact she’s technically not supposed to be on the bed.  Please let that be our secret!

As thrilled as I am to be under Lucy’s spell, she’s not a panacea to all my problems. I’m having one of those days in which PMS symptoms are beginning to rise their ugly heads.  As a result, I’ve been irritable and unable to relax.  All day long I’ve had an annoying feeling that I should be accomplishing a lot more than I’m doing, and I’m not cutting it!

I wish I could just nap in an instant as sweet Lucy does, complete with puppy dreams.  With two lively children in this house, I don’t see a nap in my immediate future.  What will help me is working out and breaking a good sweat.  That’s my plan for the late afternoon.  My workout becomes all the more alluring because it’s the time when I read your blog posts on my Kindle.  All the juicy, incisive, inspiring writing I read makes my elliptical workout whiz by.

Despite my aversion to Mother’s Day, I admit I’ll take advantage of the holiday all the same.  I’m not asking for much, so I’m easy compared to other “high-maintenance” moms. who require high-end jewelry and Creme de Mer.  I want to be able to hang out with fluffball Lucy, write, work out, and eat something yummy at home.  I know the girls have made me gifts at school and those will be the only gifts I need.

The other day I read a fascinating post on Stigmama.com that discusses Mother’s Day in a different light.  Stigmama.com founder/author Dr. Walker Karraa also mentions other topics close to my heart in relation to motherhood, maternal mental health and awareness campaigns.  Dr. Karraa writes in a highly original, powerful way and her perspectives are never boring!  The post is located at:

http://stigmama.com/2014/05/05/mother-may-i/

Speaking of that which is powerful, yesterday I watched the documentary “Running From Crazy” featuring Mariel Hemingway. The film examines the Hemingway legacy and it takes a close look at suicide and the genetics of mental illness.  What affected me the most were the scenes of Mariel having candid mental-illness themed conversations with her two grown daughters.

Neither daughter said she had severe mental illness, but in one scene Mariel told her daughter pointedly she had been “very worried” about her when she suffered depression.  Mariel had every right to be gravely concerned when depression surfaced in her child, as a whopping seven of her family members had taken their lives, “maybe more” as Mariel said.

While watching “Running From Crazy” it occurred to me for the umpteenth time that as a mom with two daughters of my own I’ll always worry about my girls succumbing to bipolar disorder.  I don’t want my Avonlea and Marilla to feel like Mariel Hemingway.  I don’t want them feeling like they are “running from crazy” throughout their lives, sprinting like mad to escape severe mental illness that arose in the generations before them.

On second thought I’d like the money my husband will spend on a Mother’s Day fancy card, flowers, and dinner to go to a meaningful cause: The International Bipolar Foundation.  The International Bipolar Foundation helps those with bipolar and anyone else affected by bipolar, and they’re active advocates.   As we’re a family on a super-tight budget, we rarely donate to non-profits.  However, since I’m fairly certain that money shall be spent on me for Mother’s Day, I’d like to direct it to a place that makes me feel good.

And now that I’ve gotten theses concerns off my motherly chest, I shall forget about putting away dishes, doing laundry and paying bills and return to Puppyland!!!  Happy Sunday.  😉

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10 thoughts on “Mother’s Day…I’m Just Not That Into You

  1. Ohh i share the same emotions about mothers day. I dont link to it that much and Dyane, call is heart to heart I am actually sharing your symptoms. This is my second mother’s day and I really dont connect to it. For me its memories of my baby’s first doctor visit only two week old and stuff.
    I wrote a post on Mothers day its still on paper. I will post it soon, As mother to another mother, wish you happiness all year round. Happy Mother’s life my dear Dyane. Love

    1. Dearest Zeph, thank you for making me feel understood. That is precious to me. I will definitely read your post about Mother’s Day when it’s up! sending you my love and a big hug, you dear soul sister! xoxo Dyane

    1. Thank you so much, Sharon. I cannot express how sweet and loving this fluffbeast is. Best Mother’s Day gift ever, and I gave her to myself, more or less! 😉

  2. Happy Mother’s Day from one mother to another. Remember biology is not destiny. Over the years psychiatrists have reminded me that my son doesn’t necessarily have bipolar disorder just because I do. He has suffered from debilitating migraines his whole life and when younger was diagnosed with ADHD, emphasis on the H, so he has had his own struggles. I try not to write about him and his struggles out of deference to his private nature.

    1. I love that expression, Kitt: “Biology is not destiny”! I will take that to heart in a big way!

      I am sorry to hear that your son has had migraines etc.; you are doing the right thing to refrain from writing about him in respect to his feelings. I mention my girls in this blog as you know, but there are significant issues that I’ve been holding back because I know they (and my husband) wouldn’t want them mentioned.

      As far as my family’s genetic history with bipolar disorder, I don’t even know what happened specifically with the previous generations on my father’s side; all I know for sure is that my father had bipolar. I want to research my father’s family history but again as you pointed out, whatever I’d find out won’t guarantee my girls will have bipolar disorder. I do pray about this all the time. It would just about kill me if they did have it, but I’d deal with it as best as I could, of course.

  3. I have a Kindle Fire and that’s how I read the blog posts….I love love love that Fire! I used to have the first one and there’s no comparison. Are you going to get a Fire? I hope so! 😉 (I don’t have the HD – just the regular one.)

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