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	<title>The day-to-day life of a mother/writer with bipolar 1 disorder</title>
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		<title>The day-to-day life of a mother/writer with bipolar 1 disorder</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com</link>
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		<title>Emails to my Mom&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/emails-to-my-mom/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/emails-to-my-mom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:01:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Dysfunction Junction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=77</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thanks Mom, for your latest email. I am so happy about Obama.  His speech last night was amazing.
I understand why you wrote the way you did (see her email below) about labels.  However, I feel that labels can sometimes help&#8230;.although the word &#8220;bipolar&#8221; (and the term &#8220;manic depression&#8221;) both sound off-putting and are extremely stigmatized by [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=77&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Thanks Mom, for your latest email. I am so happy about Obama.  His speech last night was amazing.</p>
<p>I understand why you wrote the way you did (see her email below) about labels.  However, I feel that labels can sometimes help&#8230;.although the word &#8220;bipolar&#8221; (and the term &#8220;manic depression&#8221;) both sound off-putting and are extremely stigmatized by our society, these terms are simply describing a mental illness that is no different than having diabetes or cancer. </p>
<p>Plus, as I wrote before, the greatest minds of our time seem to have bipolar more often than not.</p>
<p>I will not give up on discussing this topic with you.  Never.  All the pieces of our family&#8217;s puzzle now fit together as I look back at your behavior over the years.  Your extreme rages, violence, creativity and brilliance all stem from something beyond the norm.  I feel compelled to speak the truth with you.  I also believe that a part of you admires me for not being a milquetoast and for holding my own ground.  Boy, after 3 hospitalizations in the &#8220;loony bin&#8221; I have found that I am a very strong woman and I am not afraid of people&#8217;s reactions so much anymore.   My self-esteem is back, and I know I have a good mind on my shoulders &#8212; sure, it&#8217;s a bipolar mind, but I am honestly proud of having bipolar if it puts me in company with:</p>
<p>Abraham Lincoln, Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, Carrie Fisher, Virginia Woolf, L.M. Montgomery (author of &#8220;Anne of Green Gables&#8221; and &#8220;Emily of New Moon&#8221;), Paul Hester (may he rest in peace, this incredibly loving father of two young girls committed suicide due to his bipolar in 2002 and he&#8217;s one of my favorite musicians from the band Crowded House that I&#8217;ve always raved to you about&#8230;.), Lord Byron,  Samuel Taylor Coleridge,  Patty Duke, Charles Dickens, Ralph Wlado Emerson,  musician Peter Gabriel (whose music I love) , Ernest Hemingway, John Keats, Margot Kidder the actress, Vivian Leigh, Florence Nightengale, Sir Isaac Newton, Sinead O&#8217;Connor (love her), Cheri Oteri of Saturday Night Live (gifted comedienne), Jane Pauley, Edgar Allen Poe, <span>Robert Schumann</span> the composer, actress Gene Tierney of your generation, Margaret Trudeau,  Vincent Van Gogh, Thom Yorke of the famous band Radiohead, and Phil Judd, co-founder of one of my all-time favorite bands Split Enz, in New Zealand.  </p>
<p>Granny would want me to tell you how I feel and not pretend that &#8220;everything is okay&#8221; and that you &#8220;do not have problems&#8221;.</p>
<p>Sometimes I feel that she is speaking to me from beyond the grave to talk to you and urge you to seek help for yourself.   Please make an appointment when things settle down a bit with Dad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love you always, Mom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dyane</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>From Mom to Dyane&#8230;..<br />
</em></p>
<p><em>Love you very much-labels are just that-to me what is important is how one lives their life-how we raise our children-we all do the best that we can-I know that I was not the perfect mom by any means or wife but what I do know is that I love my children and grandchildren and hisband (yes daddy) with all my heart. I am so proud of your talents and creativity and of you. Love, MOMxxxxxxxx</em></p>
<p>&#8212; On Tue, 11/4/08, Dyane Harwood </p>
<p>&gt; Subject: Re: Dyane Leshin Harwood in the news &#8211; again!</p>
<p>&gt; To: phia36</p>
<p>&gt; Date: Tuesday, November 4, 2008, 6:46 AM</p>
<p>&gt; thanks Mom &#8211; I love you and still feel you have bipolar too</p>
<p>&gt; &#8211; it&#8217;s a creative illness and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. </p>
<p>&gt; There is a  reason for your rages over the years, in terms of your</p>
<p>&gt; brain chemistry, and I think you have also been slightly manic</p>
<p>&gt; throughout  your life at certain times- perhaps you have bipolar II,</p>
<p>&gt; otherwise known as &#8220;soft&#8221; bipolar.</p>
<p>&gt; </p>
<p>&gt; i love you and thank you for your support.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dyane</media:title>
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		<title>My song &#8220;The End of the Day&#8221; about having bipolar disorder&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/my-song-the-end-of-the-day-about-having-bipolar-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/my-song-the-end-of-the-day-about-having-bipolar-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:56:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=71</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For the past 20+ years I have written songs, and played a wee bit of guitar.  I also have sung at local open mikes, performances and in the UCSC Concert Choir, once upon a time.  
I wrote the following song &#8220;The End of the Day&#8221; when I was in solitary confinement at the hospital in [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=71&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>For the past 20+ years I have written songs, and played a wee bit of guitar.  I also have sung at local open mikes, performances and in the UCSC Concert Choir, once upon a time.  </p>
<p>I wrote the following song &#8220;The End of the Day&#8221; when I was in solitary confinement at the hospital in October, 2008, and I practiced it at the top of my lungs.  (That unpadded cell has *great* acoustics, I kid you not!)  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The End of the Day</p>
<p>by Dyane Leshin-Harwood  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have an illness in my head, I have an illness in my head</p>
<p>And it seems&#8230;I go to extremes</p>
<p>And everyone wants me to do it, everyone wants me to do what they say</p>
<p>Although I have my own way&#8230;.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>I don&#8217;t know, but I do care</em></p>
<p><em>At the end of the day</em></p>
<p><em>You can call me crazy and I&#8217;ll agree</em></p>
<p><em>At the end of the day</em></p>
<p><em>I know I&#8217;ll be okay</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have two little girls, I have two little girls</p>
<p>I miss them more than words can ever say</p>
<p>It has been five long days, it has been five long days</p>
<p>since I was with them all day&#8230;and night, yeah</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>I don&#8217;t know, but I do care</em></p>
<p><em>At the end of the day</em></p>
<p><em>You can call me crazy and I&#8217;ll agree</em></p>
<p><em>At the end of the day</em></p>
<p><em>I know I&#8217;ll be okay</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>You know I do see how this frustrates you</p>
<p>But I ask you, have you ever been in my shoes</p>
<p>Have you ever had bipolar too?</p>
<p>&#8216;Cause I do, and now I know what to do&#8230;</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dyane</media:title>
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		<title>What happened October 15th, 2008</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/what-happened-october-15th-2008/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/what-happened-october-15th-2008/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:55:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Third Hospitalization]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=69</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The day began well. I jumped out of bed with anticipation, after sleeping soundly through the night. (That in itself was a huge accomplishment, as I had only slept between 2 hours and 6 hours for weeks on end.) But my life soon started to go awry.  First I had what I call a &#8220;freak-out&#8221; [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=69&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>The day began well. I jumped out of bed with anticipation, after sleeping soundly through the night. (That in itself was a huge accomplishment, as I had only slept between 2 hours and 6 hours for weeks on end.) But my life soon started to go awry.  First I had what I call a &#8220;freak-out&#8221; with my brother.  (Others  close to me call it a psychotic outburst) My younger brother called me and said some upsetting things to me.  I started yelling at him, which is something I regret now.  However, my husband had asked my brother to take a break from calling me, as he wasn&#8217;t understanding what I was going through in terms of dealing with my bipolar stuff. As my brother disregarded Craig&#8217;s request, he was, in fact, triggering me which really angered me After we had a horrible argument on the phone, I thought the worst part of the day was over. (I went into another room to shout at him, so that my kids weren&#8217;t in the same room, but it&#8217;s a small house, so of course they heard, but I reassured them after our argument as best as I could.)</p>
<p>That morning I was hosting a &#8220;2005 baby&#8221; playgroup at my house, so an onslaught of babies, toddlers and mommies soon filled up our 1000 square-foot home. We also had a visit from a photographer at our local paper, the Santa Cruz Sentinel. The support group I created, for women with bipolar, was being profiled in the paper and the writer wanted a photo of me and my family.  So after everyone had left the house, I started to pick up frantically so that when Craig came home, it would be nice &amp; neat. After having gone out for a hike during our playgroup, he returned, and before he said hello or anything kind to me, he snapped at me.  I lost it.  I started screaming at him, and he picked up the phone to call the police, as over the past week he had been telling me that if I got out of control, he would call the police in the hope that I would be hospitalized and forced back on the drugs that had been so toxic for me.  I got so furious with him that I started punching him. (I regret this &#8211; especially since I grew up with domestic violence and swore my own children would never be around such madness.) This was the first time I had ever hit him during our nine years together. I even ripped his T-shirt.  Four police officers appeared at our doorstep in record time. They separated me and Craig, one kind officer hung out with me and our kids, and he started to interview me about what happened. Long story short?  I was told that the polcie wanted to bring me to our local hospital&#8217;s behavioral health unit for an evaluation.  I agreed, and complied with them.  Craig took the kids to our babysitter, so he didn&#8217;t have to watch me get handcuffed in front of our home, with three squad cars flashing their lights ominously at me. Before I got handcuffed, I realized there was a very good chance I would be put on a &#8220;5150&#8243; (a mandatory 72-hour hold for observation) and so I asked if I could bring a book, or any of my bipolar health supplements, and they said &#8220;You won&#8217;t be needing that.&#8221;  The fact that I was denied taking my own treatments would later prove to be very frustrating and damaging to my mental health.   More to come soon!</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dyane</media:title>
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		<title>Before I post my latest adventure, here&#8217;s a spiel about shame &amp; pride in having bipolar</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/before-i-post-my-latest-adventure-heres-a-spiel-about-shame-pride-in-having-bipolar/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:16:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health Awareness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=66</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi everyone!  It is very interesting to gauge people&#8217;s responses when I tell them I have bipolar disorder.   I have been telling many people who I encounter that I have it, and I oftentimes hand out our support group flyers too &#8212; and it is such a relief for me to &#8220;come [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=66&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Hi everyone!  It is very interesting to gauge people&#8217;s responses when I tell them I have bipolar disorder.   I have been telling many people who I encounter that I have it, and I oftentimes hand out our support group flyers too &#8212; and it is such a relief for me to &#8220;come out&#8221;.    One of my best friends is gay, and he told me that he finds there are similarities between being gay and having bipolar in terms of the social stigma that is still apparent.  I remind myself that many of our world&#8217;s greatest minds &amp; talents have lived with bipolar: Van Gogh, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Carrie Fisher (i love her!), Congressman Patrick Kennedy, Patty Duke, and one of my fave musicians: Sinead O&#8217;Connor!   I found out about some of these people out on a cool site: www.bipolar-lives.com.  Plus both my Dad and my Mom, who are amazingly talented, have bipolar one.    For my own recovery I feel a compelling need to tell others I have it and then watch their surprise when they say, &#8220;wow, I had no idea&#8221; or &#8220;What is it like&#8221;" or &#8220;Doesn&#8217;t Britney Spears have that too?&#8221; I enjoy discussing the subject with them, and then of course I promote our support group, because many times a person will tell me, &#8220;My sister-in-law has it&#8221; or &#8220;I know someone who has it&#8221; etc.  I remind others that having this illness is *no different* than having diabetes, but because mental illness is still considered to be scary and moreover, it&#8217;s invisible, it is very hard to break the stigma.    But guess what, my friends?  I&#8217;m really excited to promote mental health awareness and I think that someday I will work in the field, after the kids are in school.  After living around my father with bipolar for almost 40 years, and around my Mom too (who also suffers from borderline personality disorder)  and after realizing I have had bipolar one symptoms for over 15 years, I feel a vested interest to bring awareness to our family illness.  I am going to stabilize and work on myself, to get better for myself and for my kids&#8217; sake.   Some really good news:  I am now finding other women who have tried alternative methods to deal with their bipolar disorder, and have had many years of stability (one has been stable for 7 years, the other for almost 13!)  I&#8217;m feeling so much better these days.  My sleep is improving markedly, and my hypomania is subsiding.  I continue to take my 10 grams of Omega-3&#8217;s, my Holy Basil, my vitamin B&#8217;s, my L-Carnosine, my Chinese herbs my acupuncturist gave me and do my bright light therapy.  I am seeing a wonderful new therapist who has experience with bipolar disorder, and I&#8217;m also seeing Craig&#8217;s therapist today with him.  (He too has worked with families and bipolar for many years)  I even made a &#8220;crisis plan&#8221; in which if I am slipping and crashing into madness, I will try Geodon (my psychiatrist agreed with me on this) and I will check myself into Dominican BHU or have Craig or a friend drive me.  I also am refilling my Zyprexa just in case the mania returns.  I am really happy, at long last.  Life isn&#8217;t easy, we&#8217;re dealing with a crisis right now with my Mom, which is why I haven&#8217;t been online much&#8230;.but I pray and have faith in the Lord that he is watching over us.  take care &amp; God Bless, &amp; thanks for reading!!! Dyane</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dyane</media:title>
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		<title>Check back here for a riveting story&#8230;it starts when I was handcuffed by four (yes, four!) police officers last Wednesday&#8230;I&#8217;ll be back later this week to share the adventure with you.</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/check-back-here-for-a-riveting-storyit-starts-when-i-was-handcuffed-by-four-yes-four-police-officers-last-wednesdayill-be-back-later-this-week-to-share-the-adventure-with-you/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/check-back-here-for-a-riveting-storyit-starts-when-i-was-handcuffed-by-four-yes-four-police-officers-last-wednesdayill-be-back-later-this-week-to-share-the-adventure-with-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:39:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=64</guid>
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			<media:title type="html">dyane</media:title>
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		<title>Check back soon for a riveting post!</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/check-back-soon-for-a-riveting-post/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/check-back-soon-for-a-riveting-post/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:23:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=62</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It all begins when I was handcuffed by 4 (yes, 4) policemen last Wednesday afternoon&#8230;.I&#8217;ll be writing about it this week, so stay tuned.  I have a great story to tell!
       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=62&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>It all begins when I was handcuffed by 4 (yes, 4) policemen last Wednesday afternoon&#8230;.I&#8217;ll be writing about it this week, so stay tuned.  I have a great story to tell!</p>
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		<title>This is why I do my &#8220;Sunbox.com&#8221; Bright Light therapy each day&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/this-is-why-i-do-my-sunboxcom-bright-light-therapy-each-day/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:02:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=56</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Take this, you Big Pharma a&#8211;holes!  You can&#8217;t charge $50 billion a year for bright light therapy, now, can you?  


Bright Light Therapy for Bipolar
January 4th, 2008
A new study finds bright light therapy can ease bipolar depression in some patients.  
 
Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine’s Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic studied nine [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=56&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div id="rightcol">
<div id="adblockrighta">Take this, you Big Pharma a&#8211;holes!  You can&#8217;t charge $50 billion a year for bright light therapy, now, can you?  </div>
</div>
<div id="post-1740" class="post">
<h2><a title="Permanent Link to Bright Light Therapy for Bipolar" rel="bookmark" href="http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/01/04/bright-light-therapy-for-bipolar/1740.html">Bright Light Therapy for Bipolar</a></h2>
<p>January 4th, 2008</p>
<div class="entry"><img src="http://psychcentral.com/news/u/2008/01/brightlighttherapybipolar.jpg" alt="Woman Light" />A new study finds bright light therapy can ease bipolar depression in some patients.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine’s Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic studied nine women with bipolar disorder to examine the effects of light therapy in the morning or at midday on mood symptoms.</p>
<p>“There are limited effective treatments for the depressive phase of bipolar disorder,” said Dorothy Sit, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and the study’s first author. “While there are treatments that are effective for mania, the major problem is the depression, which can linger so long that it never really goes away.”</p>
<p>The study is published in the journal <em>Bipolar Disorders</em>.</p>
<p>Women with bipolar depression were given light boxes and instructed on how to use them at home. The women used the light boxes daily for two-week stretches of 15, 30 and 45 minutes. Some patients responded extremely well to the light therapy, and their symptoms of depression disappeared.</p>
<p>The responders to light therapy stayed on the light therapy for an additional three or four months. Four patients received morning light, and five used their light boxes at midday. Participants also continued to take their prescribed medications throughout the study period.</p>
<p>“Three of the women who received morning light initially developed what we call a mixed state, with symptoms of depression and mania that occur all at once – racing thoughts, irritability, sleeplessness, anxiety and low mood,” said Dr. Sit. “But when another group began with midday light therapy, we found a much more stable response.”</p>
<p>Of the nine women treated, six achieved some degree of response, with several reaching full recovery from depressive symptoms. While most attained their best recovery with midday light, a few responded more fully to a final adjustment to morning light.</p>
<p>“People with bipolar disorder are exquisitely sensitive to morning light, so this profound effect of morning treatment leading to mixed states is very informative and forces us to ask more questions,” said Dr. Sit. “Did we introduce light too early and disrupt circadian rhythms and sleep patterns?”</p>
<p>People with bipolar disorder are known to be sensitive to changes in outdoor ambient light and to seasonal changes. Researchers are asking whether the risk of suicide in patients with bipolar disorder could be linked to changes in light exposure.</p>
<p>“In our study, 44 percent of patients were full responders, and 22 percent were partial responders,” Dr. Sit and her colleagues write. “Light therapy, therefore, is an attractive and possibly effective augmentation strategy to improve the likelihood of full-treatment response.”</p>
<p>Optimal response was observed with midday light therapy for 45 or 60 minutes daily, noted Dr. Sit.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="http://www.upmc.com/communications/MediaRelations">University of Pittsburgh Schools of the Health Sciences</a></div>
</div>
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			<media:title type="html">Woman Light</media:title>
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		<title>Awesome Article &#8220;Good Experiences When People Stop Medications&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/awesome-article-good-experiences-when-people-stop-medications/</link>
		<comments>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/awesome-article-good-experiences-when-people-stop-medications/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:39:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Trad. Meds vs. Holistic]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=52</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hurrah!  Finally&#8230;.the other side, i.e. not taking certain meds, is represented in About.com
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-
Making the decision to stop medication, if you have bipolar or any other condition, is a decision that should be made in conjunction with your healthcare provider. Reducing a dosage abruptly can cause withdrawal effects that can be unpleasant to dangerous. A good [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=52&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Hurrah!  Finally&#8230;.the other side, i.e. not taking certain meds, is represented in About.com</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p>Making the decision to stop medication, if you have bipolar or any other condition, is a decision that should be made in conjunction with your healthcare provider. Reducing a dosage abruptly can cause withdrawal effects that can be unpleasant to dangerous. A good psychiatrist will recognize an over-medicated condition and work with you to lower medication dosages gradually. He or she will also discuss the risks, benefits and dangers of stopping a medication, and supply as much information as possible to help you make the safest, most informed choice.</p>
<p>Members of the <a href="http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=messages&amp;webtag=ab-bipolar&amp;lgnF=y">About.com Bipolar Disorder Forum</a> tell their positive experiences with stopping the medications used to treat their bipolar disorder.</p>
<p><em>Please be aware that these responses constitute the personal experiences and opinions of consumers and in no way should be construed as medical advice.</em></p>
<p><em>(To read a discussion in its entirety, please follow the link preceding the quote. Quotes may have been edited for spelling, grammar or clarity.)</em></p>
<p><a href="http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar/messages?lgnF=y&amp;msg=618.6">from Cathy</a><br />
In my personal opinion, the best years of my life were when I was not on any medications. I had a very good social life and kept myself busy helping other people. That was from 1992 until 1996, and it was the only time in my life that I ever felt normal (whatever that is). I exercised three times a week and took vitamin B complex, and I think that is better than resorting to drugs.</p>
<p><a href="http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar/messages?lgnF=y&amp;msg=543.6">from Ginny</a><br />
I dumped my meds now for a couple of months. I don&#8217;t feel any worse or better. I just decided I had too darn many drugs, and the mix was getting toxic, I&#8217;m sure. But I went for almost 35 years, I think, without anything either, so decided what the heck. I have been waiting for a manic episode but none in sight, and actually the depression seems not as bad.</p>
<p><a href="http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar/messages?lgnF=y&amp;msg=543.11">from Jennifer</a><br />
I quit taking my anti-depressants four months ago, and I have not had a depressive episode yet &#8212; it was a regular week out of every month beforehand. My GP (general practitioner) does not support my decision, so I am now forced to seek out a doctor who will not push the lottery method of trying all pills until one works, and instead will understand my pursuit of more holistic and organic methods. I have to try&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar/messages?lgnF=y&amp;msg=705.8">from Littlebug</a><br />
For a few months I was considering quitting my meds altogether. I was sick of being lethargic, dull-witted, and nauseous. I took matters into my own hands and started cutting back on the meds gradually. It has been 3 months and I am now down to 50 mg. Zoloft and 250 mg. Depakote. I talked to my pdoc about it the other day and told her what I am doing and that I feel really good at this dosage. She said to stay with it if it is working! Now that I am not sick from being overmedicated I am o.k. with staying on the current dosage. I am glad that I did not just quit the meds cold-turkey as I was tempted to do 3 months ago.</p>
<p><a href="http://forums.about.com/ab-bipolar/messages?lgnF=y&amp;msg=705.6">from Tkarels</a><br />
Hi, I wanted you to know that there are some out there who have been semi-successful in quitting meds. I&#8217;ve been off them for about a year after shifting around for 4 years.</p>
<p><em>About.com does not recommend reducing or eliminating medications without a doctor&#8217;s approval. If you feel your meds are not helping you or are causing you to be in a worse state than with a lower dose or without them, talk to your prescribing doctor first.</em></p>
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		<title>Letter to another Mom who took Abilify, like I did&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/letter-to-another-mom-who-took-abilify-like-i-did/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:36:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Venting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/?p=50</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Abilify Mama,
 
I am sorry you are having problems too.  I know how you feel re: Abilify&#8217;s icky side effects!  I took Abilify for 5 mos. It&#8217;s interesting that your side effect with Abilify is mania, as mine was severe depression &#8211; the lesser-publicized side effect, pehaps.I started at 2.5, went up to 15 mg, [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=50&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Dear Abilify Mama,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am sorry you are having problems too.  I know how you feel re: Abilify&#8217;s icky side effects!  I took Abilify for 5 mos. It&#8217;s interesting that your side effect with Abilify is mania, as mine was severe depression &#8211; the lesser-publicized side effect, pehaps.I started at 2.5, went up to 15 mg, then had to go back down to 2.5 because of that awful restless feeling. Even at 2.5 a day I felt like a drugged-out, depressed zombie.  I tapered off Abilify 7 weeks ago, under the guidance of my psychiatrist and with the promise to my him that I would return to a low dose of Lithium.  Well, I decided after I made that promise that I couldn&#8217;t take it anymore. I made a huge, dangerous (yes, dangerous decision) to try the alternative route.  It is working for me. I feel 100% better.  The depression is gone. I am grounded and myself again. Friends who have known me for 25 years say the old me is back, but more mature! My Mom said I seemed like myself again.  I met with my psychiatrist today and I asked him if he thought I was manic.  (I certainly was not depressed!) He said, plainly, I don&#8217;t know.  He has never had a patient who has been successful in being on alternative medicine. Neither has my other psychiatrist. (Yes, I have 2!) Don&#8217;t get me started on that story, LOL!)</p>
<p><span></p>
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<p>Three of my primary psychiatrist&#8217;s patients killed themselves last year. I almost was the 4th one to go, because of how I was affected by drugs, specifically, Elavil, an antidepressant that was prescribed to me.  </p>
<p>It is a personal choice&#8230;the whole meds thing, although if you have 2 small children and a husband like me, the stakes are much, MUCH higher&#8230;and I will probably get flak for writing about my controversial choice here.  I may even get my post deleted like it was at Bipolarworld.org, much to my disappointment.  I&#8217;m not saying &#8220;Go off your drugs&#8221; per se.  I know that can kill too.  However, if you are tired of feeling horrible and you want to know exactly what I have been doing, email me.  I hope I have not offended anyone. I speak from some experience, although God knows I am no M.D. or God for that matter!  Hope this post helps someone. take care and you&#8217;ll be in my prayers, Dyane</p></div>
<p></span></p>
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		<title>Up at 2:00 a.m. &#8211; Bic Runga&#8217;s &#8220;Get Some Sleep&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://proudlybipolar.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/up-at-200-am-bic-rungas-get-some-sleep/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:17:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dyane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This song is running over and over again in my head.
It really has become a kind of anthem for me, and I plan on asking Bic Runga to let me include the words to her song in my book.
If you get a chance, buy a copy of her brilliant album &#8220;Beautiful Collision&#8221; from iTunes; that [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=proudlybipolar.wordpress.com&blog=5118933&post=46&subd=proudlybipolar&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>This song is running over and over again in my head.</p>
<p>It really has become a kind of anthem for me, and I plan on asking Bic Runga to let me include the words to her song in my book.</p>
<p>If you get a chance, buy a copy of her brilliant album &#8220;Beautiful Collision&#8221; from iTunes; that album has &#8220;Get Some Sleep&#8221; on it. </p>
<p>Now, I&#8217;m off to get some sleep myself.  I got a whopping 9 hours last night, but tonight I have only gotten about 2&amp;1/2 hours so far.  Not good.</p>
<p>Snooze ya later! Dyane</p>
<p> </p>
<p><!--StartFragment--></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"><em>“<strong>”Get Some Sleep” by Bic Runga</strong></em></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">From here to there to everywhere and back to Union Square</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">When do I get some sleep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Anywhere the sleep dust lies &#8211; it decorates your eyes</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">When will I get some sleep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Stranded in June, whistling the same old tune</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">But I do believe I might be having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">I believe I might be having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Impeccably dressed in your second-hand vest, we were waiting for the taxi to come</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Putting on my daytime eyes</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">A good-enough disguise, until I get some sleep</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Reading out the horoscopes, and using up our jokes</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Where do we get some sleep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Stand on the moon, find the light of my living room</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Yes I do believe I might be having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">I believe I might having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Tune into the station, make a dedication</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Something in the phrasing was quietly amazing</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">We were waiting for the chorus to come</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">From here to there to everywhere and back to Union Square</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">When do I get some sleep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Anywhere the sleep dust lies, it decorates your eyes</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">When will I get some sleep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Stranded in June, whistling the same old tune</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">But I do believe I might be having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">I believe I might be having fun</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Tune into the station, make a dedication</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">This is going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center">Going out to everyone</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center"> </p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
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