Hello world! Thank you, Universe.

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to be here to begin the Blogventure.

I had a false start last year (i.e. my former blog “Chainbreaking Mom”) but I have picked up the pieces of my life and have begun anew, on this day of Yom Kippur, the Jewish holy day of atonement. (I was born Jewish, on March 18, 1970.)

On this day I atone for my sins. (Boy, did I rack up a lot this past year, especially when I was manic!

I am grateful to be alive. And now, this is going to sound like one of the drawn-out Academy Award-winning speeches, but I really need to write all this stuff down.  I’ll be stoked if you enjoy reading it.

Here goes.  Deep breath.

Thank you God, for my two daughters, for my husband, for my family, friends, pets and even for my “enemies”, who are my Teachers, when it all comes down to it.  

Thank you for Maggie Muir’s “Postpartum Anxiety and Depression” support group at Sutter Santa Cruz Maternity Hospital.

Thank you for music: Neil and Tim Finn, Toni Childs, Howard Jones, Thomas Dolby, Roxy Music, Liam Finn, Bic Runga, Dave Dobbyn, Edie Brickell, Luka Bloom, Glen Hansard and Marekta Irglovea and the Frames, Crowded House, Split Enz, Squeeze, Glen Tillbrook, Elton John, The Beatles, Wings, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Aimee Mann, Michael Penn, Shawn Colvin, Minnie Driver, Hothouse Flowers, Seal, Annie Lennox, Shushybye DreamTime Band, Coldplay, Vance Gilbert, Prince, Duran Duran, Rick Springfield, James Taylor, Freesia Raine, Jesse Autumn, all the great classical composers….and believe it or not, the list still goes on and on.

Thank you for books.  Thank you especially for Dr. Alice W. Flaherty’s book “The Midnight Disease”, for Sally Brampton’s book “Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression”, for “Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven Stage Journey Out of Depression” by James S. Gordon, M.D., for “Depression-Free for Life: A Physician’s All-Natural 5-Step Plan” by Dr. Gabriel Cousens, Pec Indman’s “Beyond the Blues”, Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s “An Unquiet Mind”, Dr. Martha Manning’s “Undercurrents”, Adrienne Martini’s “Hillbilly Gothic: A Memoir of Madness and Motherhood”, Julie Fast’s book “Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder”, Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao”, anything by Oprah Winfrey, Paul E. Jones’ book “The Up and Down Life”, “Listen Up” co-authored by my friend Eunice LeMay, Melody Hope’s “In My Head: Living My Life with Bipolar” and for all of Anthony Bourdain’s books about food.

Thank you for the Felton Library and Branch Librarians.

Thank you to my Suburu Outback, the Silver Dolphin.

Thank you to the Internet and to my MacBook.

Thank you for L.M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables” and “Emily of New Moon”.

Thank you for Madeleine L’Engle’s “A Wrinke In Time”,”Two Part Invention” and “A Live Coal in the Sea”.

Thank you for SARK’s 15 (many of them bestselling) books, especially ”Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper: Gifting the World with Your Words and Stories and Finding the Time and Energy to Actually Do It”.

Thank you for Sylvia Browne and Doreen Virtue and Cynthia Lester; all of them are gifted mediums.

Thank you to Noggin and the Disney Channel and BabyFirst Channel.

Thank you to Gerwurtztraminer and Riesling, especially the ones by Pacific Rim.

Thank you to all kinds of yummy food and drinks.  Thanks to candles and essential oils & girly makeup & soaps.

Thank you for Anthony Bourdain (sigh…), Ghost Hunters, Top Chef, Project Runway, the Food Network, the Travel & Discovery and History Channels.

Thank you for Freesia Raine (freesiaraine.com) and her Kreative Kids Preschool in Ben Lomond, CA.

Thank you for Dagoba organic chocolate and New Chapter and Gaia Herbs Holy Basil and Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega and my Sunbox bright light. (www.sunbox.com)

Thank you for allowing my writing to be published in “Good Times”,  ”Central Coast Parent Magazine”, “Growing Up in Santa Cruz”,  the Scotts Valley/San Lorenzo Valley Press, “Fit” magazine and Friends of Santa Cruz State Parks’ Park Views newsletter.

Thank you for giving me the strength to finally write my dream book:”Quest for Rest: My Surprising Struggle with Postpartum Mania, Hypergraphia, and Bipolar Disorder”.

Thank you for “Elle” and “People” magazines!  I love that trash! 

Thank you for my friend Alison Brooks, MFT Intern, M.A., fellow proud mama with bipolar, and fearless, extraordinary facilitator of our free DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) support group “Moms with Bipolar Disorder”.

Thank you to the 8 other moms to date in the “Moms with Bipolar Disorder” support group. God bless you.

Thank you to the Jews and the Christians and to the Buddhists.  It’s all good.

Thank you for my psychiatrists, Dr. A. and Dr. A. and Dr. C. You all, in essence, saved my life and you rock!

Thank you for my amazing therapist Allison Gilbert, creator of mothershaveneedstoo.com and teacher of the “Mothers Have Needs Too” workshop that I took.

Thank you for the ocean and the redwoods.

Thank you for dolphins and Skull Rock and for Alice Cooper.  What a freak he is!

Thank you for the 3 non-profits I worked at over the years: Friends of Santa Cruz State Parks, Friends of the Santa Cruz Public Libraries, and the College of Botanical Healing Arts.

Thank you for Bipolarworld.org.

Thank you, Universe, for protecting me last December when I came so close to ending my life after taking Elavil, also known as amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant.  My suicidal drug reaction happened after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in October, 2007 at Dominican Hospital’s Behavioral Health Unit.  My diagnosis and first hospitalization for mental illness in my life took place when my daughter Marilla was only about six weeks old and my other daughter Avonlea was three.

Thank you, Nettie and Emilio.  You know who you are.

And thank you, dear reader, for reading this.  Boy, do I have a lot to write!

The adventure begins now.